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Thursday, December 31, 2015

Ilaa of Kaithal

It started with a facebook comment.

One of my friends had put a status about Amish Tripathi's "Scion of Iksvaku".
I commented that I would like to write something like that someday.
The friend remarked on the lines of "Why wait for someday,..get started now !"
This got me to thinking. I had grown up with Stories of Hindu Mythology.
My Aunts were Sanskrit scholars and I had found them debating some or the aspect of scriptures every now and then. Egyption, Hebrew and Greek Mythology also interested me. I have often found myself drawing parallels between Indian and Greek Mythology.
Anyways, Just the other day of the facebook comment, I stumbled across the "Write India" Contest at timesofindia.com, with Amish Tripathi inviting entries for a short story.

There were a few rules:

1. The protagonist was to be a female named Ilaa, from 17th-18th century Maharashtra.
2. The story should draw inferences from Religious Scriptures and Vedic period
3. It had to be about feminism, with a girl demanding equal rights as a man.

I wrote the story keeping the above points in mind and although I am not much of a feminist, I wrote about the woman demanding equal rights as man.

Ofcourse, with a single entry to be selected from over 3000 entries , My story did not stand a chance.
Nevertheless, it was published by yourstoryclub.

The below is the link to the story, Drop a comment and let me know what you think about it.

The Mysterious Playwright

http://yourstoryclub.com/short-stories-social-moral/story-of-girl-writer-dream-mysterious-playwright/

Thursday, December 24, 2015

The moot topic: Marriage

Excerpts from the speech I composed for Toastmaster's Advanced communication track (The Entertaining Speaker)

------

A man goes to a marriage broker and says, "Sir! I'm looking for a wife. Can you please help me?"
"Sure! I can help," replies the broker, "May I know your requirements?"

"Well! She must be very knowledgeable, intelligent and polite.  She should have a good sense of humor. She should be able to treat my parents and relatives well. I want her to tell me interesting stories when I’m bored and should be quiet when I need to take some rest. Oh! Last but not the least… She needs to be sleek and very attractive"

The broker smiles and says, "I understand exactly what you need. You need a good LCD TV."

Good evening toastmasters and guests,

Today I am going to talk about the moot topic of Marriage.
Many of you amongst the audience must already be married or must be waiting to get married.

Every man in this world wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical and a good cook.
Every woman wants to marry a man who is good looking , loyal, considerate , loving and rich.
Is it not?
The difficulty is finding all of these qualities in just one woman or man. After all, the law allows you to marry only one.

Let me share an anecdote from Indian Mythology:

Drapadi the Panchal princess, in her previous birth was great devotee of Lord Shiva. Shiva was happy with her dedication and asked her to seek a boon.
Draupadi asked for an ideal husband in her next birth. A husband who would be the the best archer, the strongest man in the world, the most handsome, the most intelligent and the most righteous.
Shiva said:  "Dear girl, Unfortunately its not possible to have all these five qualities in a single man so you shall five husbands in the next birth ! ".

The story signifies two things:
First, be careful for what you ask for, and Second: if God cannot help get you the ideal mate, don't expect providence to find you one :)

Let me relate to you from my experience. I had many crushes during college. But the tragedy was that the guys I liked did not like me and I did not like the guys who happened to like me.
There is mismatch in expectations. I may find exactly the same person I am looking for but I may not be the one he is looking for. A lot of effort wasted in looking out.

Love Marriage happened to me when I had given up all hopes of a love match. The guy was my best friend who I thought knew me just too well (with all my flaws) to love me.
I am not a very organized person but I was bent on making my marriage work. To prepare myself for whats coming, I read the book “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus” cover to cover. However, an year after marriage I realized that although Women are from Venus, Men are not from Mars... I don't know what planet they come from.

If I wake up early, he tells me “You are getting older and not getting sleep”. When I sleep longer he calls me lazy.
If I ask him to help me in house work he creates a mess and if I don't I end up doing everything myself. When I watch television "I am wasting time", When he watches it "He is just relaxing."
However, things have really changed with time.
Now, I don’t feel bad when he calls me lazy, pampered or spoiled.

I may not have been able to crack the conundrum called Marriage, but four years into marriage, I realize that one of the tricks is to lower your expectations and understand that your spouse is not a super human being. He or She is as human, as fallible and as error prone as you are,.... and they are trying their best as just as you are.

So, folks think twice before you make the decision to get married… and think a hundred times before you say “Yes!” …. Because…

“Marriages made in heaven, and so are thunder and lightning”.

Friday, July 10, 2015

Dont Get Mad, Get Funny !


Excerpts from my 10th and final speech at Toastmaster’s  (Ah yes , I am a certified Competent Communicator now !)
 
“Don’t Mad, Get Funny !”
But Why ?

Because, the latter is definitely better than the former. People like Funny people; they are fun to be around. It’s easier to trust jolly people, since we are less threatened by them. Laughter makes life easier; and believe it or not it helps you communicate more effectively.
While on the other hand, Getting mad hurts. It hurts you and the others and no good ever comes out of it. You only become your own worst enemy.

So, The Big question is: Why do we get Mad ?

Because, We are overstressed.

And pray what is stress?

Stress is the by product of a stressor. Let me reiterate: It’s a “by-product”.

There is a difference between stressors which are the daily occurrences which have potential to drive us crazy, make us frustrated, angry and hurt and Stress.  It all depends on us how we choose respond to stressors. Stress may or may not be the outcome of a stressor.
You see, when faced with unpleasant situation, your body undergoes a complicated series of events. Adrenal glands get activated and produce adrenaline & noradrenalin, which is a powerful combination. This leads to increase in metabolism, dilation of blood vessels, increase in heart rate. Also, Extra glucose is sent to serve as quick source of energy so that your body can combat the enemy, your stressor.

All this helps if the stressor is a 2 ton baggage falling overhead, in that case your body would help you make quick decision and engage your physical resources to make the quickest possible exit. But what if your stressor is a simply a rush hour traffic. Then you are all hyped up, with you hormones gushing but no place to go. AND Then, comes the Anger. (Anger is not one letter away from Danger!)

The problem comes when you respond to every little annoyance with full blown stress response. This leaves you drained and you have no energy left to face the bigger and more meaningful challenges. The key is to make a distinction between “little stress” and “big stress”.  Each time you face a stressor ask yourselves the below questions:

1. Am I in physical danger?
2. Is anyone I care about in danger?
3. Is there anything I can do right now to change the situation?
4. Will the situation have a long term impact on my life?
5. Will getting mad help?

The answer to last one would always be a NO. Though, on a more serious note, If the answer to most of the above questions is no, the stress is moderate, and needs to be humored and not taken seriously. There is a difference between a physical threat (serious) and threat to your ego (superfluous).

However, to make fun of your misery you need to develop some techniques or use the techniques I profess below:

Distracting:

If there is nothing you can do about something, thinking unnecessarily wont help. Try distracting yourself deliberately in some funny way.
Say, chant a mantra to yourself. I sing “Life Haphazard, Life Haphazard hai yaar…” when I find myself in middle of a disorganized, disarrayed mess (Total chaos) at office. When things don’t go my way (due to providence), I chant “Man proposes, God disposes..”. It helps me cool down a bit. Choose your own mantra; I am sure you would do better than me. If nothing works, take a deep breath and say “Ommmmmmmm…”.
There are other ways of distracting yourself. Try visualizing your boss or a bothersome relative/colleague moving to another country. It would instantly make you feel better.
Now say you are stuck in traffic jam. Try writing a funny poem then instead of getting all hyped up. You could also look out and try to formulate the life story of the person in car beside you. Or you could simply practice ways to ask boss for a raise 
Be imaginative. There can be umpteen numbers of innovative ways to get distracted in a funny way.
 
Exaggerating:

Exaggerating can be a lot of fun. People do it all the time. Only they do it for other’s miseries. I don’t find that funny though. How about exaggerating your own follies?
I believe, it’s not always necessary to have snappy retorts to the stupid things that people say. Then let them be right even when they are wrong. Most people defend themselves when insulted. "I am not stupid." They would say. This however is an uncreative approach which creates stress and makes you seem even more stupid than you really are. Try agreeing with them and exaggerating what they say. This technique illuminates their stupidity, creates humor, and defuses situations.
Say, someone tells me: "You are a complete idiot."
And what if I say: "So I am. AND you are so smart; you figured that out so soon. It usually takes people years to find out just what an idiot I am."
Note that it takes a smart person to joke about how stupid they are.
 
Detaching:


We find happenings (often mis-happenings) in other’s life quite funny. But it’s not funny when crazy things happen to us. Why?
Because we are very attached to our persona and we are biased to ourselves. Try developing a perspective by removing YOU from your problems. Be a distant observer to the proceedings and try not to take things personally.
I will cite you an incident. I was once roaming about with my roomie at Lake drive, Maimi (where I was working on deputation). I was lost in thoughts and fell headlong due to some stumbling block on road. As I tried to get up I saw my rommie and a few others on road laughing heartily. I am sure it must have been a funny scene. But it was not funny to me. I had dirt over my hands and dress and my knees hurt. It was embarrassing. I am sure such things happen to everybody. You see, had I not taken the fall personally and had not be so self conscious, I have found the situation funny as well.
The trick is to poke fun at yourself, in any case everyone else does. The idea is to beat them in that. Take your job (not the only the office job but whatever you are engaged in) seriously, but not yourself.

Some of the funniest stories we tell about ourselves to others are the ones which really beat the crap out us. However, with time, we are able to gain a less biased and less begrudged perspective and see the funny side. All we need to do is to shorten the time duration for between the “incident” and when “it” becomes the “funny story”.
 
Developing the Humor quotient:


Like other aspects of your personality, developing humor quotient needs effort. Work on being funny. Try incorporating fun in life; surround yourself with funny books, quotes, and friends. Use funny aliases for yourselves and others. (My husband calls me “P Charu” when I am troubled (P for Pareshan !) and call me Taaru when I am in foul mood. All that helps bring levity and brightens up my mood).

You could also try working on writing down stressor list and things that make you happy. For example your most probable stressors could be a scratch on your car or a rejected reimbursement claim. Work on your stressors and see how you could ease them. Also make a happiness list. Things that lift up your mood like watching movies, singing inane songs (like I do), spending time with kids or simply watching your beloved spouse carry about daily chores with alacrity.
 
Your happiness list is about your stress busters.  Mix and match your stressors and stress busters and strike chord.
You should make a mental note of your stressors and acknowledge them, only then you would be able to work out ways to get round them.
 

When bad things happen, never use the three words: "It's not fair."
The belief that only good things should happen to good people is an unrealistic expectation that creates a lot of disappointment and aggravation. Lets change our attitude and take the more practical, less disappointing point of view that— "Life is a joke."  It is so indeed. Don't believe me? Look around. Look who got the last promotion . Look at the people running this country.
Life is indeed not fair — it's just a comedy of errors. 

So, whenever there is a stressor, take a moment to make a humor choice .
 
Please note that although I made the above speech, I am not a very  funny person. I only have fun and get funny when I am with children or with other silly and impractical  people like me (Though I am working on enhancing my scope.)  I am a “funny” misfit among the more worldly folks.
I find inspiration in my husband who although may not come across a funny person, carries all sort of childlike antics when I am angry or in a foul mood. Although I have never told him, (but he will eventually get to know via this blog), that I love it when he puts on those innocent looks and feigns ignorance when carry out my tirade against him. He exaggerates the issues I put forth , mocks me
and simply refuses to take me seriously until I have cooled down (which I do eventually, AND he does take me seriously when I am calmer.)
Also, I acknowledge that had been heavily influenced by Leigh Anne Jasheway while composing the speech.
 



Thursday, June 4, 2015

The Ashtavakra Maha Gita !

What do you do on those days when you feel dejected, demotivated and unsure of yourselves ? 
When it seems that nobody is concerned about you and there is no purpose of life ?

We all have our mechanism of coping with such times. Some talk to loved ones or friends or to the people who have faith in them. That instills confidence in them and makes them feel better.Some listen to their favorite music, watch their favorite movie, read a good book or eat their favorite food. This helps them experience the joy of living and they try to move on.My mechanism has been to read the Ashtavakra Maha Gita. ( Though, I also enjoy books on UG Krishnamurthi).

If you have not heard about Ashtavakra Gita, let me brief you about it.Now ,there are more than one Gita in hindu philosophy. Gita is a song of Knowledge. There is the Bhagwad Gita, which was a discourse on life and philosophy by Krishna to Arjuna.Ashtavakra Gita is the discussion between sage Ashtavakra and King Janak.
The Janaks were the philosopher kings of Mithila. They ruled their people well and carried out their duties without being obsessed with the worldly possessions they were entitled to. They were intellectuals and encouraged debate on philosophy. One of the Janaks (Seerdhawaj, who was also a father to Sita) had a profound discussion with Ashtavakra.

Ashtavakra, the saint with 8 body deformities (that is way the name Ashta-vakra ) went to participate the debate at Janak's court. As soon as he arrived at court, the participants and the king's officers starting laughing at his deformed body. Instead of feeling insulted, Astavakra was amused. He too laughed heartily. On being asked about the reason for his laugh , he said that he thought he had come to attend a gathering of saints, intellectuals and philosophers but it turned out to be a gathering of skin-tanners, for all of those present here judged me by my outer cover , my body and its inadequacies and did not perceive the real me. "I am atma (soul)" he said. I am perfect and unadulterated. 

Janaka recognized that the young sage was special. He made good use of the opportunity by discussing world, life and liberation with him.This discussion was recorded as Astavakra Gita. The discussion is interesting because its between a Gyana-Yogi (Ashtavakra) and Karma-Yogi (Janaka). Both have acquired self-realization but via different means. They acknowledge and respect each other.

I go through Ashtavakra Gita when I feel low. (I thank technology to have it made available to me anywhere, any time). And I realize that there are actually no problems and no solutions either. I am nobody's friend and nobody's foe. I am pure consciousness and pure energy. I am nothing more and nothing less. I am not what the world perceives me. I am perfect the way I am and fall in place with the celestial harmony. I never did any wrong nor can I make anything right. I am not the doer but only a distant observer. An observer of my surroundings, activities and the happenings.

After an altercation with my husband last night, I felt disoriented. Nothing made sense. I have some expectations from my husband and he has some from me. I feel bad when my expectations are not met. Ashtavakra Gita signifies the futility of having expectations. When I am pure consciousness and I am the universal energy personified , then why is my happiness dependent on extrinsic factors ?

I feel bad when someone says bad about me. I feel happy when they say good things about me . How is the happiness which is in me,  dependent on what others feel for me ?
To be happy is my only nature. To be at peace is my only natural state. I cannot stay agitated long enough. I would come back to my natural state of peace and harmony. Just like a pendulum comes back to its natural state after oscillating when an external force pulls it. Just like a compressed spring comes back to its natural state.

Ashtavakra Gita is a wonderful philosophy which brings us closer to our selves however its not for the very ambitious and worldly folks. Since it propogates us to flow like a river without worrying about the course or the outcome and accept whatever comes our way, It actually promotes inactivity. When we think ourselves, the others and the surroundings to be perfect the way they are we would not make any effort to bring in a change for the betterment. For there is no scope of improvement in perfection. Therefore, All progress would stop. There would be no struggle, no successes only peace and stability.

Check out the Ashtavakra Gita for yourselves at the below link (English and Hindi Translations available).
Ashtavakra Gita



Thursday, May 28, 2015

Be Positive !

Excerpts from my recent speech at Toastmaster's about being Positive.

I know am starting with a cliche but let me how many of you see the glass as half full and how many of you think that its half empty?
I have always belonged to the second the group. The ones who see glass half empty. I have been a follower of Nietzsche and Arthur Schopenhauer who believed in nihilism and pessimism.
My philosophy has always been to expect the worst. That ways if worst come up I would not be sad for it expected it. If not, I would be cool. But still, I am not happy. It does not work that way. In my efforts to safeguard myself from sorrow I have lost all happiness.
Therefore I come back to my topic, which is about being positive and taking control of your life. And how do we do that? Let’s see:

1. Stop negative influences:
One thing that I have realized is that:
----We get and attract what we think most about -----
That is, if I think that word is unfair. I will always get to see an unfair world. Unfairness would attract me for that’s what I subconsciously want to see and believe.
If I think about getting a promotion all the time, I am more like to get it. If I worry about not getting a promotion, I am more like not to get it.
Therefore we should weed out the negative thoughts and influences and cultivate positivity. It would work wonders. Just like you replace your daily dose of black tea with green tea, replace you negative thoughts with positive ones.

2. Smile:
Chinese saying: A shopkeeper who does not smile should close down his shop.
Smile, like happiness is contagious. When you smile you share positively. If you get a smile in return, you know you have done something good.
I know there are times when we feel low and do not feel like smiling and talking. But they say Even a forced smile can lift one's mood. 
Think smiling as a reward, not a risk. The only thing we risk when smiling is giving ourselves a little more happiness.

3. Recharge your batteries:
What do you think is the basic ingredient of staying happy and positive? Thinking on higher plane? Finding a purpose in life?
I am afraid its not so. I am a mother and I have seen a behavior pattern in kids. When my kids are well fed, well slept they are happy but they get cranky when they are hungry or sleepy. Strangely enough, it’s the same with us. We may not want to accept it but we overstretch ourselves in a bid to overachieve.
To stay happy and positive, you should have enough rest and should have timely meals. If you skip meals and don’t rest, your body would give you a tough time and you would feel depressed.
So take time out to recharge your batteries, eat well, sleep well and take breaks. Go on a vacation and recharge your batteries.

4. Surround yourself with friends:
There’s a saying: Living with the people you like is sheer joy and living with people you don’t like is a punishment.
So let’s choose joy over punishment.

5. Meditate:
When I say meditate, I donot necessarily mean yoga.
I mean that you should take time out for yourself, find a place quite place and think about nothing. Give rest to your hyperactive brain. Just count your breaths or start counting the stars at night and do nothing, think nothing for 5 to 10 minutes. And see what it does to you.

6. Get Motivated and Inspired.
Staying positive is a choice. Choose to be positive rather than negative. Choose optimism over pessimism. But at times going can be tough, how do you then maintain positivity?
You need motivation to get going. Listen to motivational talks. Keep positive notes in your wallet. Meet people and get inspired.

7. Love yourself
You can only understand others if you understand yourself. You can only love others if you love yourself. Appreciate yourself. Be comfortable with yourself. Do not try to be someone you are not. For that involves lot of effort and unhappiness. 
x

Saturday, May 23, 2015

The Vat Savitri Vrata


Majestic and Mystic: Vat Vriksha (Banyan tree) under whose shade the Satyavan rested while Yamraj arrived to claim him.

Last Monday was the BadMavas or Vat Savitri Amavasya.
Another opportunity for Married Indian women to oblige their husbands and show their dedication to them.

Not strangely enough, When I first listened to Savitri's Story, I found her to be another liberated, strong-willed and powerful woman from our ancient society who, I believe would fall in same category as Draupadi and Damayanti. She was far from being the meek and submissive house-wife. She was beautiful, intelligent and headstrong. In trying times, she trusted her instinct and intelligence rather than rely on self-pity.

Throughout her life, Savitri had intellectual conflicts with the men who had the potential to change the course of her life. She challenged them but with grace and respect.

She was the only child of a well known king and she was born after much praying and penance. She grew up to be so beautiful and knowledgeable than the no prince would ask her hand in marriage, considering her to be way above their league and fearing rejection. She sought permission from her father to look out for her groom by herself. An act which was definitely not the usual norm.
During her search, she came across Satyavan, the prince in exile. He was handsome, generous and of strong character. He lived in a modest cottage with his parents. Satyavan's blind father was once a powerful king but had lost his kingdom. Savitri choose Satyavan as her groom and informed her father. The thought of the tough life she would have to live with Satyavan in the forest did not deter her. Further more, Sage Narada informed her father of Satyavan's purported short life and who then requests Savitri to reconsider her decision but she stood determined. 

Satrivi and Satyavan were married with their parents blessings. Despite being a princess, Savitri takes to daily households chores and takes good care of her in laws. Not once does she her regret her decision of choosing a hard life.
She is deeply in love with her husband and her outlook helps create an aura of love and harmony.  

Three days before her interaction with Yamraj, Savitri takes a vow of vigil and fasting. Her penances had made instincts developed enough to foresee the danger to her husband. Savitri sought permission from her father-in-law to follow Satyavan in the deep woods. Her father-in-law was wary of her unprecedented request. It was not safe for lady to be in the forest. However, she was cogent and true to her resolve. Her father-in-law relented after much persuasion. 

Savitri followed her husband into the forest. After a while Satyavan felt weak. He laid down his head in Savitri's lap and rested a little under a Vat tree. Savitri saw a dark shadow approach Satyavan, It was Yamraj, the death God. Savitri does not let Yamraj leave with Satyavan's soul. She follows Yamraj. Yamraj tries to convince Savitri to turn back since her "time" has not come yet. The strong-willed Savitri does not turn back. 

She in turn, praises Yamraj for his sense of duty and judgement, uses verse from Vedas and demonstrates her knowledge of scriptures and her intellect. Yamraj is impressed and asks her to seek boons from him, anything except Satyavan's life. Savitri uses her presence of mind and makes good use of the use of the opportunity by asking Yamraj for brothers for herself (sons for her father, who could carry on her father's legacy). She got the boon but she did not stop there. She was a woman on the verge of losing her beloved but she maintained her calm. She had read scriptures and knew that in such circumstances she could ask for not one but three boons. 

She continued following Yamraj. Yamraj asked her to stop following him and said that she could have another boon. Anything other than her husband's life.
This time around Savitri asks Yamraj to restore her father-in-law's eyesight and his lost kingdom. Yamraj promises her and proceeds on his way. Savitri does not stop. Its the time for the third and final boon. It was Savitri's last chance. To ask for fourth boon would have been inappropriate. She asked Yamraj to grant her a son. And Yamraj in his eagerness to complete his current task and to dissuade the woman from following him granted her the boon with little forethought. Savitri coolly states to Yamraj that he cannot take her husband away because then it would be a violation of his promise. She cannot have a son without her husband. Yamraj was impressed and gave in. He blessed Satyavan with a long life. And they lived happily ever after.

To think, Savitri was far more liberated than the women of our times. Liberation does not mean spending precious time comparing and contrasting the two sexes and frowning about it. But liberation is to believe in oneself and to take the liberty to make your own decisions and stand by it. Satrivi was a very confident women. When no one come up to ask for hand in marriage, she did not get dejected or demoralized but took on to herself to search for a suitable husband. 

She choose Satyavan because she valued virtues over riches. She could have chosen a rich prince and spent her life in comforts but she did not. She did not deter from her decision even after knowing about her husband's supposedly short life span. She stood by her choice. Not once post marriage did she complain about living in penury but counted each day as a blessing. 
Most importantly, she did not lose heart during the trying times. She maintained her calm and relied on her intellect rather than ask for pity. Neither was she self centered, for she got boons not only for herself but for her family. 

I usually am bad with making decisions. I have hard time with them. I either let someone else decide for me (usually my hubby) or I keep postponing the decision making to the point in time when I am left with no options but one. However, the Vat Savitri story inspires me. Its not only about love between husband and wife but about self-belief. 

Friday, May 8, 2015

Writing for Wikihow !

I have always been very impressed with wikihow. Its a site for one and everyone. No matter what you want to know about, may it be getting rid of a stain in your dress, taking an interview, balancing work life or buying a pet. Wikihow has tips for everything. The wikihow concept is about sharing what you know and other wikihowians would edit/add on to, the information shared to make it more effective.
I have personally found wikihow very useful and thought about contributing to it. It was my way of giving back.

Writing for wikihow is however quite different than writing for other online portals. The base article you start is improvised by one and many. Its the article which takes the precedence and not the author/contributors. When you read a wikihow article you hardly take a note of who wrote it no-matter how helpful the article may be. Its more like an anonymous contribution.
I was therefore quite delighted when I received the below email in my inbox.



While writing is always a joy, the knowledge that your writing has helped someone brings greater happiness.

Here few of the wikihow articles I had composed:



Happy Wikihowing !

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

A penchant for Mending things.

 I had been bugging my husband lately to get me a new laptop. The one I use is a lenova model which dates back to 2006 and has now lost its erstwhile sheen and glory. Its processing is quite slow and I usually have a hard time navigating from one window to another. Also, it gets heated up every once in a while and turns off by itself. 

However, had a hard time convincing my hubby. I told him that I am a budding author on the way to composing a novella which will never see the light of day if I continue working on the machine. 
"Author died of sheer irritation while working on her machine" , would be the last line of my unfinished master piece. 
I employed the age old tactics of "sam/dam/dand/bheed" (read :sweet talk/buying out/punishment and blackmailing) and  provided my hubby with an ultimatum (blackmailed him !!) that if he doesn't get me a laptop in "good working condition" , I will buy the first piece which fancies me.

This got him to think. He asked me not be foolhardy and reminded me that we have not one but three kids at home and the the sleek asus piece I have set my eyes on would not be stay in "one piece" long enough for me to finish off my work.


He got all geared up, got hold of his beloved tool box and started tinkering with my laptop. He opened all of it, cleaned it inside out and put it together. Next, he backed up the data and formatted the machine. He installed and upgrade the software. His ingenious skills in electronics coupled with googling helped him fix the disfunct cd writer. He also order a new external hard disk to help him manage things the next time around. (I suspect he's going to do the same to his laptop). Anyways, He spent a good part of the weekend in this activity and seemed to have thoroughly enjoyed the process. He was quite happy with the end result and presented me the laptop which was as promised "In good working condition". Here is a picture of his finished piece of work and the tools scattered all over.



 
I was all smiles, It was not about "not buying a new" piece, but about fixing what we have got. My husband and a few other of his ilk have a penchant for mending things. It gives them a great deal of satisfaction.

Each day while getting ready for office, I browse through my wardrobe and remark to myself:  "I have nothing good to wear. I need some new dresses". The fact is, my wardrobe is flooded with dresses. Some of them are quite pretty. But they require minor amends. Some of them need a bit of fitting, just a stitch here or there. Few others have a lace or button missing. How about if I get those fixed rather than buying new ones.

I know, there are times when we feel like letting go and starting afresh. While starting afresh has it own charm , making an attempt to fix what's still there is also a very profound activity. It may be your dysfunctional piece of machinery, your broken jewelry, your clothes, your life or your relationships. 
Lets look back and see what can be mended. Lets see if we can make something right.