We stood besides the cemented pavement across my new office. A few vehicles buzzed about. For a while both of us looked aimlessly at the vehicles passing by. She turned her gaze away from the road and looked at me thoughtfully. She then said "Chalo phir, milte hai". Okay then, see you.
She gave me a side hug, like we always had whenever we met outside of office, Only this time I was rather inert. She moved away quickly and proceeded towards her car. She sat down at the driver seat, put on her shades and smiled faintly at me. She waved to me and I waved back.
My eyes trailed her car until it was not to be seen. Suddenly, I started feeling giddy inside and my eyes were laden with water.
I had once promised myself never to cry in front of anyone, after one specific incident.
Most of the times I was good at keeping that promise.
But I simply couldn't help then. There were not one but many people on the road watching me cry.
I wiped my tears and made effort to cross the road and get back to office , to my empty workstation.
Tears kept trickling...
Why did she mean so much to me ?
Not that we were related by blood. Not that we grew up together.
She is a Marvadi , I am a UP Brahmin married in a Punjabi Family.
She is strong willed, outspoken , stands up for herself and believes in smart work and usually is an optimist.
I am meek, soft spoken, hard working, sincere and a diehard pessimist.
What did her going away to a far away place mean to me?
No quick tea breaks, wherein I would fill her with my days happenings.
Who would be interested in those trivial details now ?
Who will listen to my rants, so nonchalantly ?
Whom would I now philosophize with ?
Who would reprimand me for being a pessimistic every now and then?
Most importantly who would never judge me for saying or doing anything, and just let me be comfortable being myself ?
Her going away would mean a change in routine.
No.
Its a change in life.
It been 7 years but it seems like yesterday when we first met. Providence you may call it.
It was one of those early days at my previous organization, I was having lunch all by myself when a lean, dusky girl with expressive eyes and hair set in a single braided plait approached me.
"Can I join you ?"
I looked at her and then at the cafeteria. None of the tables were empty.
I smiled.
We made a small talk and got to know that we had both joined recently, and that we both had been in US up until last year, I at Florida and she at California, the two edges of the same country.
We noted each others names and decided to have lunch together from now on wards.
I confess, I have had many lunch buddies and she was just one of them. But none of them had grown so special.
Our daily talks materialized to something more meaningful day by day and we felt a connection.
She was the first one to whom I broke the news of my pregnancy outside of my family.
That very day she wanted to share something too. But stopped after hearing my happy news.
Much later I came to know about what she wanted to share. It was a sad chapter from her life, but she held back because her Mom-to-be friend should be happy, no matter what !
She often joked that my baby would grow up to be like her (and guess what, shes turning out to be like her) for we had spent so much time together during my pregnancy, talking about everything under the sun. Work, people, marriage, relationships, mythology and philosophy.
Post maternity, when I joined back she had her own lunch group. A lot of things were going on my mind then. Work, baby, health, family. I hardly had time for anything, leave alone friendship
Our relationship could have died out slowly BUT for her.
She excused herself from her lunch group slowly and joined me for lunches.
The fact that she preferred a new Mom with all her woes, and left her gang of girls who had not yet started their family and could discuss more cheerful things, meant a lot to me.
She chose to listen to my endless rants about how my life had changed, but her being there, mattered a lot to me.
She has reprimanded me many times for being pessimistic. She is the only person whose chiding I don't mind. For I know that she does not reprimand me because she thinks low of me, on the contrary I know, that she respects me and wants to see me somewhere. Many times she has pushed me to realize my complete potential.
She was the one who pushed me to find a new Job.
"Job change ? But I am settled? I mean I have a child, a family. I cannot work extended hours. On top of all that, I write, I chant . Where would I find a new job which would accommodate my routine. A new job would bring new challenges."
That was me.
"Please keep your excuses to yourself. At-least start finding out whats happening in technology these days. At-least start studying. At-least start applying. You never know you may land up with the very job you had been looking for !".
That was her.
And I made a career move.
And she did too. She got a wonderful career opportunity but at a faraway place.
She'll find new friends, I will find new friends and life would go on.
As it had, up until now.
Except that I could not stop crying.
I can never ever, even come close to return what she had done for me.
I cannot thank her enough.
Neither can I thank enough my other friends.
I have been very lucky, I had a share of good friends.
Starting from School, .... where I met a very sincere girl who wanted to achieve something and yet was so grounded. She was very special to me. Still is.
Thank you Pooja.
Then I met a girl who made me realize that you could be studious and great fun at the same time. That it was okay to watch movies as long as you study hard. That life can be fun if you make fun of your own miseries. A girl with the world's most beautiful personality.
Thank you Rupali. Its an honor to be your friend.
Thank you Neha for being my friend, even though I don't call you enough let alone meeting you.
At college I met some of the most wonderful girls and boys. It was there, that I discovered that you could have friends in boys. And what refreshing perspective they bring. They don't overthink like us girls but that doesn't mean they are insensitive. They live in the moment and make best of any situation. Shishir and Sharma ji, thanks for being there and supporting me.
Once I started job, I found new independence and new friends in colleagues and roommates. We thought alike, faced similar challenges and connected well.
Monica, my days at Miami passed though smoothly because of you. Thank you.
Thank you Neha Nigam, for retaining my faith in human goodness and in my myself. You exemplify the spirit of not giving up and making your own way despite all odds.
Thank you Seema for simply being what you are. Donot change yourself for anyone. Your are very special. A dynamite in store, yet as fluid as water.
Thanks to my wonderful friends at Toastmasters and Sokka Gakkai who strengthen my faith in myself. Especially, Anjali from the former and Smita from the later. Thank you girls for bringing me back from my bouts of lethargy to my passion for public-speaking and spirituality.
Lastly, Thank you Rachit , my friend, my husband , my life.
Now, Why does friendship mean so much ?
Some relationships are like a wedge in one of your shoes . Something screeches, every-time you put your foot down. It doesn't hurt but.. well... its just not natural.
Some relationships are like wearing a shoe that fits. It protects, makes us comfortable and ...confident.
Friendship is a gift.
A friend accepts you the way you are and they cherish you for what you are !
Most of the relationships cannot be chosen. You do not get to choose your parents, siblings, cousins , neighbors, colleagues and sometimes not even your life partner.
But friends, You choose them , don’t you ?
You are with them and they are with you not because of your family, status, money or looks but because they like being with you.
You don’t have to wear a mask in front of them.You can be yourself and that is very liberating. They may reprimand you at times for your vanity or absurd idealism but its because they genuinely care for you. No vested interests.
I remember having read a story about a sweet vendor who was taking a cart full of sweets to the village fair. Four hungry passersby observed him.
One of them approached him and said rudely: "You are so full of yourself, You are have a cart full of sweets. Why not offer some to passersby. Why ? Now Give some to me ! "
The vendor stopped the cart and gave him two pieces of stiff and tasteless Pakwan.
The second passerby came by and said to the vendor "Brother. I am hungry. Please give a few sweets to me."
The vendor replied : " Why not ? You called me brother. Here, take these brother. ", giving him a handful of sweets, enough to alleviate his hunger.
The third passerby came by and said "Baba
The vendor replied sweetly :" Son, take these . It my duty to feed you.", handing him enough sweets to keep him going throughout the day.
The fourth and last passerby approached the vendor and said nothing. Simply smiled at him.
The vendor smiled back.
The passerby then said: "My Friend, wouldn't you feed me, your friend ?"
The vendor stopped the cart again. This time there were tears in his eyes.
He said :"Friend, this cart is now yours. You take it to the fair. I will simply walk along with you."
The first time I read the story it didnt make that much sense to me , as it does now.
In a life partner you have expectations. You may get disappointed every now and then, if your expectations are not met.
Family is pure love but it is also bound by duty. And Duty is a heavy word.
But Friendship is something beyond love and duty. Actually it doesn't have a defined boundary!
Another special thing about friendship is that age doesn't play a factor.
I will show you how. The best thing which happened to me after I got married was that I found a very special friend. Now Marriage is not easy. It is not easy task for you as well as your new family.
Its a life changing event !
The first person to wholeheartedly accept me as I am , with all my flaws, was my new friend.
She made sure that I belong.
My niece , my friend, my inspiration.
A girl so young, yet so mature.
She was the one who encouraged me to take up writing. Makes time-tables for me, every now and then, to aid me accommodate writing in my daily routine and has lately been pushing me to take up singing !
The time spent with her is sheer bliss. When I am with her, I forget who I am..... Or shall I say, I truly discover who I am.
Its a beautiful bond I share with her, thanks to her and her equally wonderful parents who didn't mind sharing her, a part of their heart, with me and let the friendship bloom.
Hmm....
I am going on a memory trip, recollecting all my friends to convince myself that I am not friendless and that I can get going without you.
But its all in vain.
I still miss you NIDHI.
When you went away, you took away a part of me with you and there is a part of you in me.
Your beliefs, philosophies and our shared experiences have changed me and I am not the same person, I was 7 years back.
And now realize,
Chai ke liye jaise ke toost hot hai, waise har ek friend zaroori hota hai.
Adieu, mon ami !
She gave me a side hug, like we always had whenever we met outside of office, Only this time I was rather inert. She moved away quickly and proceeded towards her car. She sat down at the driver seat, put on her shades and smiled faintly at me. She waved to me and I waved back.
My eyes trailed her car until it was not to be seen. Suddenly, I started feeling giddy inside and my eyes were laden with water.
I had once promised myself never to cry in front of anyone, after one specific incident.
Most of the times I was good at keeping that promise.
But I simply couldn't help then. There were not one but many people on the road watching me cry.
I wiped my tears and made effort to cross the road and get back to office , to my empty workstation.
Tears kept trickling...
Why did she mean so much to me ?
Not that we were related by blood. Not that we grew up together.
She is a Marvadi , I am a UP Brahmin married in a Punjabi Family.
She is strong willed, outspoken , stands up for herself and believes in smart work and usually is an optimist.
I am meek, soft spoken, hard working, sincere and a diehard pessimist.
What did her going away to a far away place mean to me?
No quick tea breaks, wherein I would fill her with my days happenings.
Who would be interested in those trivial details now ?
Who will listen to my rants, so nonchalantly ?
Whom would I now philosophize with ?
Who would reprimand me for being a pessimistic every now and then?
Most importantly who would never judge me for saying or doing anything, and just let me be comfortable being myself ?
Her going away would mean a change in routine.
No.
Its a change in life.
It been 7 years but it seems like yesterday when we first met. Providence you may call it.
It was one of those early days at my previous organization, I was having lunch all by myself when a lean, dusky girl with expressive eyes and hair set in a single braided plait approached me.
"Can I join you ?"
I looked at her and then at the cafeteria. None of the tables were empty.
I smiled.
We made a small talk and got to know that we had both joined recently, and that we both had been in US up until last year, I at Florida and she at California, the two edges of the same country.
We noted each others names and decided to have lunch together from now on wards.
I confess, I have had many lunch buddies and she was just one of them. But none of them had grown so special.
Our daily talks materialized to something more meaningful day by day and we felt a connection.
She was the first one to whom I broke the news of my pregnancy outside of my family.
That very day she wanted to share something too. But stopped after hearing my happy news.
Much later I came to know about what she wanted to share. It was a sad chapter from her life, but she held back because her Mom-to-be friend should be happy, no matter what !
She often joked that my baby would grow up to be like her (and guess what, shes turning out to be like her) for we had spent so much time together during my pregnancy, talking about everything under the sun. Work, people, marriage, relationships, mythology and philosophy.
Post maternity, when I joined back she had her own lunch group. A lot of things were going on my mind then. Work, baby, health, family. I hardly had time for anything, leave alone friendship
Our relationship could have died out slowly BUT for her.
She excused herself from her lunch group slowly and joined me for lunches.
The fact that she preferred a new Mom with all her woes, and left her gang of girls who had not yet started their family and could discuss more cheerful things, meant a lot to me.
She chose to listen to my endless rants about how my life had changed, but her being there, mattered a lot to me.
She has reprimanded me many times for being pessimistic. She is the only person whose chiding I don't mind. For I know that she does not reprimand me because she thinks low of me, on the contrary I know, that she respects me and wants to see me somewhere. Many times she has pushed me to realize my complete potential.
She was the one who pushed me to find a new Job.
"Job change ? But I am settled? I mean I have a child, a family. I cannot work extended hours. On top of all that, I write, I chant . Where would I find a new job which would accommodate my routine. A new job would bring new challenges."
That was me.
"Please keep your excuses to yourself. At-least start finding out whats happening in technology these days. At-least start studying. At-least start applying. You never know you may land up with the very job you had been looking for !".
That was her.
And I made a career move.
And she did too. She got a wonderful career opportunity but at a faraway place.
She'll find new friends, I will find new friends and life would go on.
As it had, up until now.
Except that I could not stop crying.
I can never ever, even come close to return what she had done for me.
I cannot thank her enough.
Neither can I thank enough my other friends.
I have been very lucky, I had a share of good friends.
Starting from School, .... where I met a very sincere girl who wanted to achieve something and yet was so grounded. She was very special to me. Still is.
Thank you Pooja.
Then I met a girl who made me realize that you could be studious and great fun at the same time. That it was okay to watch movies as long as you study hard. That life can be fun if you make fun of your own miseries. A girl with the world's most beautiful personality.
Thank you Rupali. Its an honor to be your friend.
Thank you Neha for being my friend, even though I don't call you enough let alone meeting you.
At college I met some of the most wonderful girls and boys. It was there, that I discovered that you could have friends in boys. And what refreshing perspective they bring. They don't overthink like us girls but that doesn't mean they are insensitive. They live in the moment and make best of any situation. Shishir and Sharma ji, thanks for being there and supporting me.
Once I started job, I found new independence and new friends in colleagues and roommates. We thought alike, faced similar challenges and connected well.
Monica, my days at Miami passed though smoothly because of you. Thank you.
Thank you Neha Nigam, for retaining my faith in human goodness and in my myself. You exemplify the spirit of not giving up and making your own way despite all odds.
Thank you Seema for simply being what you are. Donot change yourself for anyone. Your are very special. A dynamite in store, yet as fluid as water.
Thanks to my wonderful friends at Toastmasters and Sokka Gakkai who strengthen my faith in myself. Especially, Anjali from the former and Smita from the later. Thank you girls for bringing me back from my bouts of lethargy to my passion for public-speaking and spirituality.
Lastly, Thank you Rachit , my friend, my husband , my life.
Now, Why does friendship mean so much ?
Some relationships are like a wedge in one of your shoes . Something screeches, every-time you put your foot down. It doesn't hurt but.. well... its just not natural.
Some relationships are like wearing a shoe that fits. It protects, makes us comfortable and ...confident.
Friendship is a gift.
A friend accepts you the way you are and they cherish you for what you are !
Most of the relationships cannot be chosen. You do not get to choose your parents, siblings, cousins , neighbors, colleagues and sometimes not even your life partner.
But friends, You choose them , don’t you ?
You are with them and they are with you not because of your family, status, money or looks but because they like being with you.
You don’t have to wear a mask in front of them.You can be yourself and that is very liberating. They may reprimand you at times for your vanity or absurd idealism but its because they genuinely care for you. No vested interests.
I remember having read a story about a sweet vendor who was taking a cart full of sweets to the village fair. Four hungry passersby observed him.
One of them approached him and said rudely: "You are so full of yourself, You are have a cart full of sweets. Why not offer some to passersby. Why ? Now Give some to me ! "
The vendor stopped the cart and gave him two pieces of stiff and tasteless Pakwan.
The second passerby came by and said to the vendor "Brother. I am hungry. Please give a few sweets to me."
The vendor replied : " Why not ? You called me brother. Here, take these brother. ", giving him a handful of sweets, enough to alleviate his hunger.
The third passerby came by and said "Baba
The vendor replied sweetly :" Son, take these . It my duty to feed you.", handing him enough sweets to keep him going throughout the day.
The fourth and last passerby approached the vendor and said nothing. Simply smiled at him.
The vendor smiled back.
The passerby then said: "My Friend, wouldn't you feed me, your friend ?"
The vendor stopped the cart again. This time there were tears in his eyes.
He said :"Friend, this cart is now yours. You take it to the fair. I will simply walk along with you."
The first time I read the story it didnt make that much sense to me , as it does now.
In a life partner you have expectations. You may get disappointed every now and then, if your expectations are not met.
Family is pure love but it is also bound by duty. And Duty is a heavy word.
But Friendship is something beyond love and duty. Actually it doesn't have a defined boundary!
Another special thing about friendship is that age doesn't play a factor.
I will show you how. The best thing which happened to me after I got married was that I found a very special friend. Now Marriage is not easy. It is not easy task for you as well as your new family.
Its a life changing event !
The first person to wholeheartedly accept me as I am , with all my flaws, was my new friend.
She made sure that I belong.
My niece , my friend, my inspiration.
A girl so young, yet so mature.
She was the one who encouraged me to take up writing. Makes time-tables for me, every now and then, to aid me accommodate writing in my daily routine and has lately been pushing me to take up singing !
The time spent with her is sheer bliss. When I am with her, I forget who I am..... Or shall I say, I truly discover who I am.
Its a beautiful bond I share with her, thanks to her and her equally wonderful parents who didn't mind sharing her, a part of their heart, with me and let the friendship bloom.
Hmm....
I am going on a memory trip, recollecting all my friends to convince myself that I am not friendless and that I can get going without you.
But its all in vain.
I still miss you NIDHI.
When you went away, you took away a part of me with you and there is a part of you in me.
Your beliefs, philosophies and our shared experiences have changed me and I am not the same person, I was 7 years back.
And now realize,
Chai ke liye jaise ke toost hot hai, waise har ek friend zaroori hota hai.
Adieu, mon ami !
