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Thursday, June 30, 2016

Hard Life vs Easy Life !

It was only yesterday that I was talking to one of my colleagues at office. An intern waved her goodbye. She smiled at her and then looked at me and remarked: "This young girl is so lucky. She can get home and hit bed straight away. I heard her say that she gets at least 12 hours of sleep each day ! I wish I was that lucky !"
I looked my colleague cum friend . She is assistant vice president at RBS, is married with two wonderful kids . She is also pursuing part time MBA from a renowned Delhi college and... She looks like a million dollars .
I said : "Maam, you are very lucky. I hope you know that !"
She paused and said: "Yeah. That's true." , flashing a very warm and genuine smile.

Its true that my friend is an accomplished woman. But it is also true that her life cannot be compared to the young intern she was talking about. Her day starts at 4:30 am. She gets up does yoga, Raises her children and hubby from sleep. Prepares breakfast, and packs lunch  and reports to office sharp at 8. Post work, she picks up her kids from daycare and spends quality time with them and her husband. She studies for her course after putting the kids to bed.
She has does a lot of hard work which generates success and good luck .
Hold on ! I did I say "generate luck" ?
Can luck be generated ?
Yes. Luck is definitely a factor is you success. But remember that your luck is directly proportional to the hard work you put in.  You might refute my claim. Say, you were preparing religiously for IIT entrance exam, however, you did not make it to the exam venue in time due to traffic jam/heavy rains. Whatever happened to your luck then, you may ask.
And I say that under those circumstances you may not make it to IIT but trust me your luck (via your hard work) would ensure that you make it to NIT.

A person who gains is lucky. But there is no gain without pain
My father often used to remark that in order to progress you ought to have a story.
"What story?" I would ask.
"A story of hardships, my dear girl." He would say.

Laxmi Bai had a story.
Would you have remembered her if she were a delicate darling. No. She was a hard worker. She made her life deliberately harder. She could passed her days in palatial home , living off her family jewels. She could have taken an easy way. But she choose to fight.
The business tycoons , successful politicians and all  the successful and "lucky" people have a story attached to them. A story of hardships which made them stronger. Made them luckier.

Back home , I really admire my father in law for what he is. At 63,  he continues going to office. He gets back home, does groceries and take interest in day to day household activities. His enthusiasm and jest puts us, the younger lot, to shame. And what does he gain from this hard work? Respect, success, fitness and luck.
My Mother in law is another fine person, who choose to take care of her grandchildren instead of passing days in relaxed bliss.

We women are by nature and circumstances the luckier of the lot. Whether you are working or not you have a lot on your plate to make you lucky. However, never let anyone judge you for your choices. If you choose be working , you choose a tough life. Juggling home and office would increasing your efficiency and broaden your horizon. If you are homemaker , you are lucky. You choose a tough life too. Without considering what other people might say, you forego your dreams for higher ambitions.
Yes, giving up your career means you are ambitions. You are an ambitious mother and wife who is completely devoted to the well being of her family.

Household activities are long considered to be a woman's arena . But now , intelligent and lucky men realize the importance of household happiness in their larger happiness and efficiency at work. They deliberately make their life hard by going an extra mile for there wife and children. They share household duties. And pry what do they get?
Happiness and success.
People look at them and remark :"His wife is so loving. His children are so well behaved. He is so lucky !!"

Dear friends, if you find yourselves envying the other people for their luck, stop and do a reality check. Introspect. Perhaps you have easygoing ways. Deliberately make your life tough. If you are unmarried and have time in your hand, then make good use of that time. Enroll for a new learning. Help your parents. Set high goals for yourselves. Serve people around you. Serve but don't expect anything in return not even appreciation. Service done to other in lieu of something is almost vulgar. Better not do anything for anyone if you are expecting return, because it strips service of its beauty and makes it a business transaction. Also, it would generate a lot of unhappiness and hurt, because your expectations would never be met.
Serve others around out your free will and for your own happiness and see where it take you. (How lucky it makes you !)


So folks, if you are facing tough situation, or have a tough boss, or you have to deal with tough people, thank your stars. This is the way you shall progress.
Living with people who are critical and say harsh statements also makes you lucky. These people keep you grounded. Such people are not necessary bad. They say rude things either out of habit or out of their own unhappiness. For no happy person can say mean things about another person. Nevertheless, these people sacrifice their image and help you improve.
How come ?
Didn't they say bitter medicines are often the most effective.
Well, so are bitter words.
They shake you out of your complacency and push you to work hard in order to overcome your flaws.

So my dear friends, If you still believe that your daily routine should include going to office or college without enthusiasm, coming back home, lying on the couch and watching TV, I have no hard feelings for you. Only pity.
You are losing out on a lot of success, happiness and LUCK !!

Feedback I received about the above speech at RBS Toastmaster Club.