Excerpts from my Humorous speech which fetched me first place at Club and Area level Toastmasters Humorous speech contest, a second prize at Divison level and a chance to represent my division at District contest which had contestants from all over North India, Nepal, Bangladesh, Bhutan.
***********
Year 2009:
There was a girl who was focused and ambitious.
An IITIAN and an Introvert.
Her motto: The less people you deal with, the lesser your problems.
She had a hard time talking to people, for she would always say something awkward and then spend rest of the day feeling sorry about it.
When my mother,..I mean her mother told her "Get out of books or you will never make any friends !".
She was like "WOW ! I wish"
She went about wearing Tee shirts which said : I am a social vegan , I avoid MEET.
M E E T !
She had plans to give her all to her career and join Brahmkumari for spiritual growth.
That was the pic of her dream home. (A picture of an isolated home on an island)
However when she was making these plans, someone up there was laughing.
Who was laughing ? God.
God has a good weird sense of humor.
Year 2017:
The girl is living with Grandma in law, mother in law, father in law, sister in law, brother in law, niece, nephew, daughter and husband AND she is a toastmaster. Unbelievable.
Contest Chair, Fellow Toastmasters:
Whose that girl ? Its me!!!
Tough guess, I know.
Now let me tell you how a typical day in a joint family looked like.
Say an object, a flower pot which is at Position 1.
Person A comes says "Why is the flower pot here? No sunlight and fresh air here." And keeps it at Position 2.
Person B comes and says: "Why put the vase here ? It does not blend with the surroundings" and puts it at Position 3.
Person C comes and says : "According to Vastu, the vase should in the north east of the house." and puts it at position 4.
Person D comes and says : "Wheres the vase ? I put it here a few minutes back."
When I tell her about Person C and position 4.
The reaction I receive is: What? What? What ?
Trust me it hurts here (pointing at heart)and here (pointing at neck), when your decisions are challenged. Receiving and giving, such jerky reactions is also one of the causes of my cervical.
Perspective,...some see the glass half full, some half empty, ...my father in law sees the glass on the table, and say "Who put it here ???".
Mine, may be a Melodramatic but its a modern family, with benefits. And of us have access to smartphones, tablets. The quickest was to call a family meeting is to ......turn off the house wifi and wait. Everybody comes running.
While I was try to figure out my new family and they were trying to figure me out. I was also working towards building my relationship with my husband,... but in vain.
Consider this :
I was once very angry with my husband and gave him silent treatment for an entire week, at the end of which he said, “Hey, Honey , we’re getting along pretty great lately, Aren't we ?"
That day I realized that I was not only his better half but his bitter half !
Different strokes for different people. Same words mean different things when spoken by different people. As if we speak different languages.
The question is how do we manage despite all the differences. The answer is : We may be different, but we are all good here (pointing at brain/loose screw), no no I mean here (pointing at heart)
From my father in law, I have learned how be hardworking, from my mother in law, I have learned how to be a balanced person, from my husband I have learned ... :(act like thinking hard).. how to be patient listener; from my sister in law I have learned how to speak up; from my brother in law I have learned how to play it cool.
And from the kids, Ah the kids, ...I have learned honesty, calmness and lessons in science and philosophy.
NO, its not the other way around.
My three year old Nephew Dev comes to me and says "Chahchi, Dolly hit me "
"Oh my poor darling , Why did she hit you ?"
"Because... I hit her !"
Honesty is indeed the best policy ...Simple, Cool and uncomplicated..
Another time I was chiding my then 2 year old who despite my best efforts to potty train her, had soiled diaper. I said "How may times have I told you to tell me when you feel like pooping. It must be hundred time. blah blah blah...."
My daughter observes me for sometime and when she thinks she has had enough, she looks up in my eye and simply says "Mama,... Statue!"
Shes Cool. Takes nothing to heart.
Now, Let me tell you how I figured out that its not the sun which revolves around the earth, but earth rotates.
I hear little Dev screaming "Chachi, the house is going round and round."
I rush to find a rotating Dev , ... I hold him steady and tell him "Dev, its not the house. Its you."
Its not the house its you.
When things go round , I mean wrong, perhaps its not the people in the house , Its you who has changed?
Now tell me, How many of you play with your children ?
Ahhhhaaaa....
How many of you say "Please go play with your brother or sister. That's basically the reason we had them."
Those who do not play with their children is that because you don't have children.
Perhaps you have but you don't realize that they are yours!
There's a line from the movie "Collateral Beauty." which says: "Your children don't have to come from you, they have to go through you."
Since my niece and nephew go through me each day. They are mine.
Let me ask you a funny question. I am such a funny person.
Does buying a piano make you a pianist?
No ?
Similarly, bearing children does not make you a parent. Having a sibling does not make you a brother or sister. You have to experience them . However irritating it may be.
They say that a family that eats together stays together. There is a very deep thought behind it.
Reminds me of my daughter asking at the dinner table "Mama, Where's Dev Bhaiya ? his pizza is getting cold....and eaten .."
I would go one step ahead and say a family that laughs together, stays together.
Laugh, fight, agree, disagree but Live Together!
***********
Year 2009:
There was a girl who was focused and ambitious.
An IITIAN and an Introvert.
Her motto: The less people you deal with, the lesser your problems.
She had a hard time talking to people, for she would always say something awkward and then spend rest of the day feeling sorry about it.
When my mother,..I mean her mother told her "Get out of books or you will never make any friends !".
She was like "WOW ! I wish"
She went about wearing Tee shirts which said : I am a social vegan , I avoid MEET.
M E E T !
She had plans to give her all to her career and join Brahmkumari for spiritual growth.
That was the pic of her dream home. (A picture of an isolated home on an island)
However when she was making these plans, someone up there was laughing.
Who was laughing ? God.
God has a good weird sense of humor.
Year 2017:
The girl is living with Grandma in law, mother in law, father in law, sister in law, brother in law, niece, nephew, daughter and husband AND she is a toastmaster. Unbelievable.
Contest Chair, Fellow Toastmasters:
Whose that girl ? Its me!!!
Tough guess, I know.
Now let me tell you how a typical day in a joint family looked like.
Say an object, a flower pot which is at Position 1.
Person A comes says "Why is the flower pot here? No sunlight and fresh air here." And keeps it at Position 2.
Person B comes and says: "Why put the vase here ? It does not blend with the surroundings" and puts it at Position 3.
Person C comes and says : "According to Vastu, the vase should in the north east of the house." and puts it at position 4.
Person D comes and says : "Wheres the vase ? I put it here a few minutes back."
When I tell her about Person C and position 4.
The reaction I receive is: What? What? What ?
Trust me it hurts here (pointing at heart)
Perspective,...some see the glass half full, some half empty, ...my father in law sees the glass on the table, and say "Who put it here ???".
Mine, may be a Melodramatic but its a modern family, with benefits. And of us have access to smartphones, tablets. The quickest was to call a family meeting is to ......turn off the house wifi and wait. Everybody comes running.
While I was try to figure out my new family and they were trying to figure me out. I was also working towards building my relationship with my husband,... but in vain.
Consider this :
I was once very angry with my husband and gave him silent treatment for an entire week, at the end of which he said, “Hey, Honey , we’re getting along pretty great lately, Aren't we ?"
That day I realized that I was not only his better half but his bitter half !
Different strokes for different people. Same words mean different things when spoken by different people. As if we speak different languages.
The question is how do we manage despite all the differences. The answer is : We may be different, but we are all good here (pointing at brain/loose screw)
From my father in law, I have learned how be hardworking, from my mother in law, I have learned how to be a balanced person, from my husband I have learned ...
And from the kids, Ah the kids, ...I have learned honesty, calmness and lessons in science and philosophy.
NO, its not the other way around.
My three year old Nephew Dev comes to me and says "Chahchi, Dolly hit me "
"Oh my poor darling , Why did she hit you ?"
"Because... I hit her !"
Honesty is indeed the best policy ...Simple, Cool and uncomplicated..
Another time I was chiding my then 2 year old who despite my best efforts to potty train her, had soiled diaper. I said "How may times have I told you to tell me when you feel like pooping. It must be hundred time. blah blah blah...."
My daughter observes me for sometime and when she thinks she has had enough, she looks up in my eye and simply says "Mama,... Statue!"
Shes Cool. Takes nothing to heart.
Now, Let me tell you how I figured out that its not the sun which revolves around the earth, but earth rotates.
I hear little Dev screaming "Chachi, the house is going round and round."
I rush to find a rotating Dev , ... I hold him steady and tell him "Dev, its not the house. Its you."
Its not the house its you.
When things go round , I mean wrong, perhaps its not the people in the house , Its you who has changed?
Now tell me, How many of you play with your children ?
Ahhhhaaaa....
How many of you say "Please go play with your brother or sister. That's basically the reason we had them."
Those who do not play with their children is that because you don't have children.
Perhaps you have but you don't realize that they are yours!
There's a line from the movie "Collateral Beauty." which says: "Your children don't have to come from you, they have to go through you."
Since my niece and nephew go through me each day. They are mine.
Let me ask you a funny question. I am such a funny person.
Does buying a piano make you a pianist?
No ?
Similarly, bearing children does not make you a parent. Having a sibling does not make you a brother or sister. You have to experience them . However irritating it may be.
They say that a family that eats together stays together. There is a very deep thought behind it.
Reminds me of my daughter asking at the dinner table "Mama, Where's Dev Bhaiya ? his pizza is getting cold....and eaten .."
I would go one step ahead and say a family that laughs together, stays together.
Laugh, fight, agree, disagree but Live Together!
