I am not Cut out for it !

Excerpts from my last speech at Toastmasters International Speech Contest:

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A 15 year old girl listens to her mom call out from the kitchen

"Charu, Give me a hand in here.”

And she responds "Mom I am not cut out for cooking !!".

Toastmasters/fellow guests

Tell me, how many of you would have done the same in their teenage ?

Wow.

Good to see the men raising their hands too

Kitchen is no longer a no man’s land :)

My point is: Please consider, How many times in our lives have we told others and more importantly ourselves, that we are not cut out for this or that.

I have done that.

I have said that:

I am not cut out for public speaking.

And yet today, here I am, standing before you.

I dreaded facing public because I knew, I was flawed, and I often thought that if I face an audience, people would see across me and find out my flaws.
But 3 years into Toastmasters, I have found that when I am on stage I forget what I was,  or what I would be and there is only this moment. And this moment is perfect, devoid of any shortcomings.

When I am on the stage I am myself.

My true self.

The audience does not deter me, it empowers me.

People listening intently to you, without cutting you, for 7 whole minutes. …..

Where does that happen ?????

At home ?

At office ?

That happens only at Toastmasters.

Such golden opportunities I lost over the years, only because I said and more importantly believed, that I was not cut out to face public.

Years ago, there was a guy I liked a lot and he had a big family.

I befriended him but never took the next step because I told myself that I am not Cut out for marriage.

Joint family ! My God !

I could not even interact properly with one person, how would I live with many ?

And yet here I am today, living in a family of 10.

I had  once told my friend on his birthday ,

“Today, You can ask anything of me. Except of course, my hand in marriage.”

And the way he said: “What am I going to do with you, if I am not to marry you “

Actually, he had said something in Hindi.
The literal translation was “Without marriage would I make a pickle out of you ?"

Think pickle in Hindi!

Anyways the way he said it, I had to say yes.

That my friends, was my biggest …..
Victory !

By saying yes to him, I said yes to his beautiful family. I said yes to living with more mature people. I said yes to a deep sense of security. I said yes to happiness. I said yes to a new me. I said yes to cooking and cleaning.

How many of you know that Cooking is as creative an activity as painting, and a lot more gratifying.

Sometimes we think that we know ourselves but even our knowledge about ourselves in based on what we have experienced.

Tell me, How many of you think you are not out for  a 9 to 5 office job?

How many of you, who think are not cut out for an office job, are actually in an office job?

Good !

How many of you who think they are not cutout for an office job but are in an office job, have actually experienced doing their own thing.

Less !

My point is : How can you form an opinion about something if you don’t experience it.

You see, I have heard many young girls, boys, couples remark that they are not cut for out parenthood.

But I have hardly ever heard a mother of few years or a father of few years, say that.

There are mental barriers we barricade ourselves in.

I am not cut out for this. I cannot do that.

For an instant, think about how many times you have rejected something or someone  because you thought that you were not cut out for it.

Many opportunities lost.

I would say Don’t loose but Choose.

Life is a paper roll ,……., not this but  this, , and our willpower is the scissors …..and patience and perseverance are well …patience and perseverance.

On this paper roll of life, we can be cut out to be of any shape.

How fine we cut it out or if a cut out a poor figure, depends on our patience and perseverance.        

We can be a triangle, a rectangle, a circle.

But that does not mean that we have to be all the shapes at the same time.

We can choose .

Say, I am cut out to be a triangle as well as a rectangle.

But I choose to be a triangle over a rectangle.

I choose happiness over being fretful.

I choose family over career

I choose entrepreneurship over day job.

I choose toastmasters …over ….over….. talking NONSENSE  with MY friends.

But I love talking nonsense with my friends.

Wait I choose them both.

I am cut out for both.

Likewise, I am cut out to be a mother as well as career women.

A friend of mine was offered the challenging role of a team lead as soon as she joined back after her maternity leaves. But she refused.

What she told the management was: It is not that I cannot do it, It is just that I don’t want to do it right now.

A year afterwards, she accepted the offer on her own terms.

Don’t Loose but Choose.

Choice, my friends,  is very powerful and liberating, whereas negative affirmations are also very powerful but limiting.

Therefore, I implore you, to explore the real you. The untapped you.

Experience everything and then choose.

Experience swimming, for with mystery the oceans are brimming

Try sky divining, dream high and never stop striving.

Trust me you have nothing to lose,

if you tell yourself, This is what I choose.

Look I can rhyme

Perhaps I am cut for poetry.

What say.

Have you tried to discover what all are you cut out for ?