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Friday, December 28, 2018

Why Women Overthink !!


Situation X:

A girl name MO and a boy called Ro are dating.
You know dating right ?

A phase where  90% of a relationship is about figuring out where to eat.

So after one of their dinner dates, just as they get inside the car for their way back:
Mo remarks with a smile so BIG, that she could eat a Banana,…sideways !   “Do you know, As of tonight, we are dating exactly 6 months.”
And then there is what seems like a LOUD silence to Mo.

Mo thinks:
“What is it about? May be he is confounded by my remark. Maybe he thinks I want to push him into an obligation which he doesn’t want !”
Ro thinks:
“Hmm.  Six months. Wait a minute. I got the car from the dealer then. It’s doing okay except for something with its steering.”
Mo thinks:
“Where are we going ? Would we continue dating or would Marry, have children. Am I ready for that kind of commitment? “
Ro thinks: “Oh no the car is overdue for servicing but the steering may not be covered in warranty.”
Mo thinks: “He is upset. I can see it on his face. Because of my overgrown romantic notions about a knight riding on a horse , I am letting go of the person I truly feel good with”

Mo finally finds her voice and says :  “Ro, please don’t torture yourself like this. I should never have said anything. I feel so guilty.”
Ro is CLUELESS.
Mo: “I know there is no knight and there is definitely no horse. “
Ro: "HORSE ?"
Mo says crying : Its just that I need time. Ro, What do you think? And looks at Ro expectantly.
Thinking as fast as he can Ro finally comes up with something he thinks might work.
And he says: "YES Mo"
Mo: “Oh Ro, Do you really feel that way ?”
Ro: “Yes Mo.”
Mo gazes lovingly into Ro's eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves… a HORSE.
Ro then drops her back. She a conflicted tortured soul, weeps until dark.
Ro on the other hand takes a bag of chips, lies down on couch and watches Television.
A tiny recess in his mind says that something major was going on in the car but since there was no way to figure it out, he thinks it best not to think about it.

Mo on the other hand calls up her friend or even two friends and they discuss the situation for 6 straight hours. Analyzing every word every gesture for any nuances of meaning.
They discuss the incident for weeks, even months, without any of the girls reaching any definite conclusion and not getting bothered about reaching a conclusion either.

Women  over think. That’s a fact.
The problem is we spend more time about what our men are thinking than they actually spend time thinking.
We women take all our relationships very seriously may it be with our partners, parents or friends. We know everything there is to know about our friends including what we should not know.
But Men, they would spend years playing cards with their friend and all they would know about them is what car they own and some funny nickname they would have given them.
We are so concerned about our friends but Men simply hang out with their friends and have a good time, all the time.
I recently questioned my husband:
“You friend is marrying such a dumb girl. Why don’t you warn him and make him aware?”
His answer: “Why should I? He didn’t alert me when I was marrying you?
How Insensitive.
Men don’t realize that you can’t just speak anything you think but you have to think what the other is thinking and then speak.
Last year, I had a huge altercation with my husband when he gifted me a mixer while I actually expected him to gift me a piece of jewelry on my 7th wedding  anniversary.
And then in his frustration, took away the mixer and he gifted me his seven Commandments instead (a list I am sure he got somewhere off the internet).

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect
an answer you do not want to hear. Like If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask
me. I refuse to answer.

2. Sometimes, I am not thinking about you. Live with it.
3. Come to me with a problem only if you want help solving it. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
4. You can either ask me to do something OR tell me how you
want it done. Not both.
5. Anything I said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
6.If I ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," I will act like nothing's wrong. I know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
7. I am not mind reader and I will never will be. My lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little I care about you.

With all these commandments and illogical reasoning, He was simply prolonging the altercation. Didn't he know that no fight ends until the more sensible one (ME!!!) has the last word.
You see, he may have given up on his mind reading ability but I have not GIVEN UP, neither on my mind ability nor his.

Tell you what, I think women over think because they  CAN over think!!
Not all everybody has that capacity.
We can over think about relationships, people, past, future and dates.

You see, my husband may forget my mother’s birthday but I would never FORGET, neither his mother’s or my mine. We have to the capacity to think and bring together not one but two families. To think about not only our home but the outside world.
So lets not question why women overthink but accept and cherish this fact for it is their charm.
Just like we should accept and cherish that men don't overthink for living in the moment and being uncomplicated is their charm.

Oh, I know,.. I know... I have talked a lot, without actually coming to any definite answer about the question in hand ,
But Tell you what, I am a woman, and A woman may think a lot, talk a lot but she still does not give even a fraction of what she thinks.

Think about it !





4 comments:

Unknown said...

And I am totally Confused

Unknown said...

Looks like a typo in line below "Tell you what, I think women over think because they have the can over think"

Charu Vashishtha said...

Me too 😆

Charu Vashishtha said...

Thanks I will rectify it.