Excerpts from recent speech for Toastmasters Advance Communication Speaking Humorously track:
--------
There’s a topic which has been on my mind a lot lately. You see, I am such a peace loving creature.
And I always avoid confrontations. Any kind of.
I am loving mom to my daughter. An amicable colleague and dutiful daughter in law….. and a forever bitter wife.
Yes !
When I am with my husband. Alone…..
I get transformed, I into a loathsome monster and start pounding on him for most of my woes at office and at home.
Why do I do that? Why do I pick up fight with him?
Why do I hold him singlehandedly responsible for all my woes?
Does that happen with you too?
Is there a couple who doesn’t fight? No.
Why do couples fight?
Expectations!! We expect them to get us moon and want us to…dance to their tune !
Couples fight. That’s a fact. While some arguments are important and even necessary, most of them are about inane things.
So what do you think couples fight most about?
Money?
Kids?
Housework?
Not according to a new survey from Vanity Fair which says 36 percent of couples fight over …….
The TV remote control !
The most likely bone of contention?
Sports or no sports.
For many couples, the only time they get together is in the evening, when they plop down in front of the TV. And argue. Over control of the remote, over what to watch, over the volume, for crying out loud.
Accordingly, the height of romance is giving their partner control of the TV remote.
I once asked my loving aunt who has been happily married for over 25 year if she ever fought with her dear husband.
“Oh. We fight daily. At least, two times a day. Once after we wake up and once before we sleep.”
I looked at her in astonishment.
Is this the same sweet ever smiling aunt of mine. ?
She explained “Married for over 25 years we still fight over who gets to pee first when we wake up. going together would be too messy."
“And…we argue about whose going to get back out of bed to turn the light off. We are both stubborn so many times we sleep all night with the lights on."
Now, I am no less than my aunt and I fight with my husband about sillier things.
Like….
Hangers!!
He insists I'm stealing hangers from his side of the closet, while I KNOW that he's stealing hangers from my side. I even caught him red-handed one day!
The last time we fought we almost spent a whole day arguing how to spend hypothetical lottery winnings.
Hypothetical !
Once we argued about something that we both agreed on because we both couldn't understand each other's sentences.
Over the time I have jotted a pattern in our fights:
There are the “I gave it to you to borrow, not to keep” fights
We’re so sweet on each other that we are all up in each other’s clothes and personal space, breathing in one another’s musk, flannels/tees. Until one day when he asks for his muffler…
“um, that is a staple in my wardrobe now? You gave it to me!” I say.
“I gave it to you to borrow, not to keep” He says.
The “but I’m so comfortable!” fights
We are so cozy in our blankets while our significant other gets up to use the bathroom. Upon seeing them amble over on their return trip, we demand that they get us the remote, or the bag of chips, or something that is so necessary for our survival but we cannot get up for it because:
“Ah I am so COMFORTABLE.”
The AC wars
I get cold in the middle of the night and turn the AC off. He wakes up sweating and blasts it. I wait for him to get back to sleep and turn it off. He waits for me to get back to sleep….The cycle continues.
The Netflix Wars
“Do you want to watch Game of Thrones?” He says
“No, I want to watch How I met your Mother-“ I say
“Okay, what about House of Cards?” : HE
“I kind of wanted to watch How I met..-“ : I
“We could always do Mad Men.”
“I WANT TO WATCH HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER.”
The “you always…” fight
When trying to make a point, we often turn to generalizations when we lack the foundation our argument needs in order to hold up in relationship court. “You always do ______” is the hilariously desperate last-ditch effort to make our point !
My Aunt always said that she didn’t really love her husband until they argued for the first time.
True love is being able to look at someone and say, “you are so, so painfully wrong and stupid. So human. I love you.”
So, my dear folks, continue to fighting , continue falling in love…BUT with each other.
--------
There’s a topic which has been on my mind a lot lately. You see, I am such a peace loving creature.
And I always avoid confrontations. Any kind of.
I am loving mom to my daughter. An amicable colleague and dutiful daughter in law….. and a forever bitter wife.
Yes !
When I am with my husband. Alone…..
I get transformed, I into a loathsome monster and start pounding on him for most of my woes at office and at home.
Why do I do that? Why do I pick up fight with him?
Why do I hold him singlehandedly responsible for all my woes?
Does that happen with you too?
Is there a couple who doesn’t fight? No.
Why do couples fight?
Expectations!! We expect them to get us moon and want us to…dance to their tune !
Couples fight. That’s a fact. While some arguments are important and even necessary, most of them are about inane things.
So what do you think couples fight most about?
Money?
Kids?
Housework?
Not according to a new survey from Vanity Fair which says 36 percent of couples fight over …….
The TV remote control !
The most likely bone of contention?
Sports or no sports.
For many couples, the only time they get together is in the evening, when they plop down in front of the TV. And argue. Over control of the remote, over what to watch, over the volume, for crying out loud.
Accordingly, the height of romance is giving their partner control of the TV remote.
I once asked my loving aunt who has been happily married for over 25 year if she ever fought with her dear husband.
“Oh. We fight daily. At least, two times a day. Once after we wake up and once before we sleep.”
I looked at her in astonishment.
Is this the same sweet ever smiling aunt of mine. ?
She explained “Married for over 25 years we still fight over who gets to pee first when we wake up. going together would be too messy."
“And…we argue about whose going to get back out of bed to turn the light off. We are both stubborn so many times we sleep all night with the lights on."
Now, I am no less than my aunt and I fight with my husband about sillier things.
Like….
Hangers!!
He insists I'm stealing hangers from his side of the closet, while I KNOW that he's stealing hangers from my side. I even caught him red-handed one day!
The last time we fought we almost spent a whole day arguing how to spend hypothetical lottery winnings.
Hypothetical !
Once we argued about something that we both agreed on because we both couldn't understand each other's sentences.
Over the time I have jotted a pattern in our fights:
There are the “I gave it to you to borrow, not to keep” fights
We’re so sweet on each other that we are all up in each other’s clothes and personal space, breathing in one another’s musk, flannels/tees. Until one day when he asks for his muffler…
“um, that is a staple in my wardrobe now? You gave it to me!” I say.
“I gave it to you to borrow, not to keep” He says.
The “but I’m so comfortable!” fights
We are so cozy in our blankets while our significant other gets up to use the bathroom. Upon seeing them amble over on their return trip, we demand that they get us the remote, or the bag of chips, or something that is so necessary for our survival but we cannot get up for it because:
“Ah I am so COMFORTABLE.”
The AC wars
I get cold in the middle of the night and turn the AC off. He wakes up sweating and blasts it. I wait for him to get back to sleep and turn it off. He waits for me to get back to sleep….The cycle continues.
The Netflix Wars
“Do you want to watch Game of Thrones?” He says
“No, I want to watch How I met your Mother-“ I say
“Okay, what about House of Cards?” : HE
“I kind of wanted to watch How I met..-“ : I
“We could always do Mad Men.”
“I WANT TO WATCH HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER.”
The “you always…” fight
When trying to make a point, we often turn to generalizations when we lack the foundation our argument needs in order to hold up in relationship court. “You always do ______” is the hilariously desperate last-ditch effort to make our point !
My Aunt always said that she didn’t really love her husband until they argued for the first time.
True love is being able to look at someone and say, “you are so, so painfully wrong and stupid. So human. I love you.”
So, my dear folks, continue to fighting , continue falling in love…BUT with each other.
No comments:
Post a Comment