Why Housework is good for working Moms !

Working Moms usually take up or are assigned the desk jobs .These jobs are mentally grueling and leave us exhausted by the end of the day. Back at home we get a feeling of lying on the couch or sleeping in order to relieve the mental tension. 

But that does us no good. Agreed, that you had worked hard at office but you did not do any physical work. While your mind needs a break your body does not. By sleeping or lying on the couch and watching TV you are only accumulating more fat and are killing your precious time. There are other productive ways of relaxing your mind and diverting it from office woes. Housework is one of them. Since housework does not actually involve resolving complex riddles and is mostly mechanical, it gives your mind rest and keeps your body in action. 

Washing utensils, dusting, cleaning, stacking clothes and similar activities would keep your mind off office politics for a while, keep you busy, make your home tidy and also help burn a few calories. Cooking is another great activity which can relax you because it is actually a very creative activity. You are actually creating a dish and it would give you a great sense of fulfillment. 

If you are not into housework (it does not relax you) and you can afford to keep staff to do it for you, then don't be hard on yourself. Take it it easy. There is no compulsion. In that case you may pick up another engaging hobby (preferably involving some physical activity) like gardening, dancing, adopting and taking care of your pet, going on walks etc. 

However, I believe that housework is still a good way out since it make you own the proceedings at home, saves some amount you would have kept aside for a maid, and gratifies your family. This is my personal opinion and is based on personal experience.

However, your situation may be different. You may be an architect or construction engineer doing strenuous site visits and inspections, or if you are a sculptor, curator, dancer or an event manager . In short, if in your are in a job which involves physical activity, it makes more sense to get back home, take a nap, read, write or paint so that your body and mind get the much deserved rest. 

But, if you have a desk job, you have no excuse for going back home and lying on the couch. Instead, activate yourself with some meaningful physical work. Physical activities and exercises release oxytocin, the feel-good hormone and would help you feel better. Whereas sitting idle would only clog your mind with unnecessary worries. 

And I am not talking about the working moms, even the fathers should do their bit of housework and ease their mind. Whether your wife is a homemaker or professional, the love, respect and appreciation you would receive for helping out in housework would make your day. You would set a good example for your son, be your daughter's hero and your wife's darling :) 

So my dear ladies and gentlemen buckle your seat-belt and indulge in housework post office and reap the benefits.

PS: Stay at home moms, don't limit yourself to housework. Develop a hobby and gives wings to your passion. Perhaps we will cover that in the next article.

You are what you eat !!

The below are excerpts from my Speech for Toastmaster's Advanced Communication Track.
I had used certain rhetorical devices during the speech like voice modulation, alliteration and rhymes. And I daresay the speech was a success.


A few days back, I was composing my speech for toastmaster's advance communication track  and  I decided to read it  out aloud.
If you want to be a monkey, eat bananas, insects and kiwi,
If you want to be a giraffe, eat shrubs, leaves and barks
If you want to be a buffalo, eat the movie posters
If you want to be a lion eat the monkey, giraffe, and buffalo.
My niece Anika looked at me singing a strange jingle and … asked… Chachi… If you want to be a human what should you eat? For a change, I wasn’t puzzled on getting this googly from my 7 year old niece. I said “Anika! Humans eat deep fried aloo tikka, pizzas and double cheese burgers”.

Good evening toastmasters and guests… If you eat a chicken, you’ll be a chicken,  if you eat a fried potato, you are sure to put on more weight, If you eat spinach, you will be spinachy , I mean strong. Dont get me wrong ;)
You are what you eat!!!

Some people are overweight due to heredity reasons and some have animal instincts by birth. I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about the rest of us, who chose to be overweight and who chose not to have control on what they eat.
I am talking about the seafood diet people.
No not people who diet on crabs, fishes and octopus. But the see-food people . The people who "see food" and eat it.

When God originally created man, man was lean and fit. God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower, spinach; with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so man would live long and healthy. But, look at what man did using God's gifts;

God gave man healthy vegetables, nuts and olive oil to cook them. Man created deep-fried veggies, butter-dipped popcorn.
God gave potato, brimming with potassium and good nutrition. Man peeled off the healthy potato skin … sliced the starchy center … added lots of salt and deep-fried them in animal fats to create French fries. Man became like a potato – fat and obese.

Think about how our life style and eating habits have changed in the last several decade. Dal- roti … GONE … Burgers ON. Dosas GONE… Pizzas ON. Fruit juices GONE… SODA… ON.
It takes 3 times more land, energy and water to feed a non-vegetarian when compared to feeding a vegetarian. Nearly 30% of Indians are without proper food and nutrition. It makes more sense to go vegetarian.

At the end, a healthy body creates a sound mind. Look at Avinash, the very enthusiastic toastmaster,   who just looks like a college grad even at this age because of his healthy vegetarian diet.
I know there is binge eating. People find comfort in food. You get stressed , you eat desserts. Each time you weigh yourselves you get shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull (your weight !) has become since last time. You get more stressed and you eat more desserts and the vicious circle goes on.
Hold on desserts is stressed spelled backwards. Is it a coincidence. I think not.

There is an old proverb which says To lengthen your life, shorten your meals.
Eat less sugar. You're sweet enough already. :)

There are funny remarks people make when we talk about eating healthy.
"I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short." They would say.
"What ? You ask me to get in shape. I'm in shape darling . Round is a shape — isn't it?

My dear nutritional overachievers, such excuse are not going to help you. Maturity would.
I know he toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat !!
However, Please note that Nothing tastes as good as being healthy feels.

There's also strong evidence that, the closer to nature you eat, the fewer calories it will take for you to feel satisfied. The reason? Processed foods often have low amounts of fiber and water; a high ratio of calories to nutrients; and a mix of tastes from added sugar, salt, and flavoring that overly stimulates the appetite center in the hypothalamus. Clean foods are the opposite: lots of fiber and fluid, a high ratio of nutrients to calories, and free of added flavors — all of which send signals of satiety to your brain before you consume too many calories.
 Just think of how many raw almonds you eat before stopping when compared to honey roasted almonds? You would end up eating the latter more.
By eating clean, you can control your weight permanently without feeling deprived or hungry or having constant cravings.
Everything you eat becomes a part of not only your inner being, but the outer fabric of your body. The healthier the foods are that you eat, the better your skin will look and the better you would feel.

I was doing my regular walk one day. I saw an old man rocking in his chair on the portico of his house. I couldn’t resist looking at the old man… he was short… but fat… his skin had wrinkles, hair was grey. The old man was happily reading a newspaper with his thick glasses.

I went to the old man and said "Sir! I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look. What’s your secret for a long happy life?"

"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never eat vegetables. Oh… I never exercise."

"Wow! You managed to live this long. So, how old are you?" I asked.
The man got off his chair … folded the newspaper and said... "I’m just twenty-six; I look very old because of what I eat".

I know you don’t want to be like that young man who looked like very old because of his unhealthy diet. I request all of you to eat a healthy vegetarian diet… because YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT.

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Readers, Please note that although the speech reflects my personal opinions, I have referred to Saro's Corner for Humorous speeches in order to derive content.

Hard Life vs Easy Life !

It was only yesterday that I was talking to one of my colleagues at office. An intern waved her goodbye. She smiled at her and then looked at me and remarked: "This young girl is so lucky. She can get home and hit bed straight away. I heard her say that she gets at least 12 hours of sleep each day ! I wish I was that lucky !"
I looked my colleague cum friend . She is assistant vice president at RBS, is married with two wonderful kids . She is also pursuing part time MBA from a renowned Delhi college and... She looks like a million dollars .
I said : "Maam, you are very lucky. I hope you know that !"
She paused and said: "Yeah. That's true." , flashing a very warm and genuine smile.

Its true that my friend is an accomplished woman. But it is also true that her life cannot be compared to the young intern she was talking about. Her day starts at 4:30 am. She gets up does yoga, Raises her children and hubby from sleep. Prepares breakfast, and packs lunch  and reports to office sharp at 8. Post work, she picks up her kids from daycare and spends quality time with them and her husband. She studies for her course after putting the kids to bed.
She has does a lot of hard work which generates success and good luck .
Hold on ! I did I say "generate luck" ?
Can luck be generated ?
Yes. Luck is definitely a factor is you success. But remember that your luck is directly proportional to the hard work you put in.  You might refute my claim. Say, you were preparing religiously for IIT entrance exam, however, you did not make it to the exam venue in time due to traffic jam/heavy rains. Whatever happened to your luck then, you may ask.
And I say that under those circumstances you may not make it to IIT but trust me your luck (via your hard work) would ensure that you make it to NIT.

A person who gains is lucky. But there is no gain without pain
My father often used to remark that in order to progress you ought to have a story.
"What story?" I would ask.
"A story of hardships, my dear girl." He would say.

Laxmi Bai had a story.
Would you have remembered her if she were a delicate darling. No. She was a hard worker. She made her life deliberately harder. She could passed her days in palatial home , living off her family jewels. She could have taken an easy way. But she choose to fight.
The business tycoons , successful politicians and all  the successful and "lucky" people have a story attached to them. A story of hardships which made them stronger. Made them luckier.

Back home , I really admire my father in law for what he is. At 63,  he continues going to office. He gets back home, does groceries and take interest in day to day household activities. His enthusiasm and jest puts us, the younger lot, to shame. And what does he gain from this hard work? Respect, success, fitness and luck.
My Mother in law is another fine person, who choose to take care of her grandchildren instead of passing days in relaxed bliss.

We women are by nature and circumstances the luckier of the lot. Whether you are working or not you have a lot on your plate to make you lucky. However, never let anyone judge you for your choices. If you choose be working , you choose a tough life. Juggling home and office would increasing your efficiency and broaden your horizon. If you are homemaker , you are lucky. You choose a tough life too. Without considering what other people might say, you forego your dreams for higher ambitions.
Yes, giving up your career means you are ambitions. You are an ambitious mother and wife who is completely devoted to the well being of her family.

Household activities are long considered to be a woman's arena . But now , intelligent and lucky men realize the importance of household happiness in their larger happiness and efficiency at work. They deliberately make their life hard by going an extra mile for there wife and children. They share household duties. And pry what do they get?
Happiness and success.
People look at them and remark :"His wife is so loving. His children are so well behaved. He is so lucky !!"

Dear friends, if you find yourselves envying the other people for their luck, stop and do a reality check. Introspect. Perhaps you have easygoing ways. Deliberately make your life tough. If you are unmarried and have time in your hand, then make good use of that time. Enroll for a new learning. Help your parents. Set high goals for yourselves. Serve people around you. Serve but don't expect anything in return not even appreciation. Service done to other in lieu of something is almost vulgar. Better not do anything for anyone if you are expecting return, because it strips service of its beauty and makes it a business transaction. Also, it would generate a lot of unhappiness and hurt, because your expectations would never be met.
Serve others around out your free will and for your own happiness and see where it take you. (How lucky it makes you !)


So folks, if you are facing tough situation, or have a tough boss, or you have to deal with tough people, thank your stars. This is the way you shall progress.
Living with people who are critical and say harsh statements also makes you lucky. These people keep you grounded. Such people are not necessary bad. They say rude things either out of habit or out of their own unhappiness. For no happy person can say mean things about another person. Nevertheless, these people sacrifice their image and help you improve.
How come ?
Didn't they say bitter medicines are often the most effective.
Well, so are bitter words.
They shake you out of your complacency and push you to work hard in order to overcome your flaws.

So my dear friends, If you still believe that your daily routine should include going to office or college without enthusiasm, coming back home, lying on the couch and watching TV, I have no hard feelings for you. Only pity.
You are losing out on a lot of success, happiness and LUCK !!

Feedback I received about the above speech at RBS Toastmaster Club.

Ilaa of Kaithal

It started with a facebook comment.

One of my friends had put a status about Amish Tripathi's "Scion of Iksvaku".
I commented that I would like to write something like that someday.
The friend remarked on the lines of "Why wait for someday,..get started now !"
This got me to thinking. I had grown up with Stories of Hindu Mythology.
My Aunts were Sanskrit scholars and I had found them debating some or the aspect of scriptures every now and then. Egyption, Hebrew and Greek Mythology also interested me. I have often found myself drawing parallels between Indian and Greek Mythology.
Anyways, Just the other day of the facebook comment, I stumbled across the "Write India" Contest at timesofindia.com, with Amish Tripathi inviting entries for a short story.

There were a few rules:

1. The protagonist was to be a female named Ilaa, from 17th-18th century Maharashtra.
2. The story should draw inferences from Religious Scriptures and Vedic period
3. It had to be about feminism, with a girl demanding equal rights as a man.

I wrote the story keeping the above points in mind and although I am not much of a feminist, I wrote about the woman demanding equal rights as man.

Ofcourse, with a single entry to be selected from over 3000 entries , My story did not stand a chance.
Nevertheless, it was published by yourstoryclub.

The below is the link to the story, Drop a comment and let me know what you think about it.

The Mysterious Playwright

http://yourstoryclub.com/short-stories-social-moral/story-of-girl-writer-dream-mysterious-playwright/

The moot topic: Marriage

Excerpts from the speech I composed for Toastmaster's Advanced communication track (The Entertaining Speaker)

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A man goes to a marriage broker and says, "Sir! I'm looking for a wife. Can you please help me?"
"Sure! I can help," replies the broker, "May I know your requirements?"

"Well! She must be very knowledgeable, intelligent and polite.  She should have a good sense of humor. She should be able to treat my parents and relatives well. I want her to tell me interesting stories when I’m bored and should be quiet when I need to take some rest. Oh! Last but not the least… She needs to be sleek and very attractive"

The broker smiles and says, "I understand exactly what you need. You need a good LCD TV."

Good evening toastmasters and guests,

Today I am going to talk about the moot topic of Marriage.
Many of you amongst the audience must already be married or must be waiting to get married.

Every man in this world wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical and a good cook.
Every woman wants to marry a man who is good looking , loyal, considerate , loving and rich.
Is it not?
The difficulty is finding all of these qualities in just one woman or man. After all, the law allows you to marry only one.

Let me share an anecdote from Indian Mythology:

Drapadi the Panchal princess, in her previous birth was great devotee of Lord Shiva. Shiva was happy with her dedication and asked her to seek a boon.
Draupadi asked for an ideal husband in her next birth. A husband who would be the the best archer, the strongest man in the world, the most handsome, the most intelligent and the most righteous.
Shiva said:  "Dear girl, Unfortunately its not possible to have all these five qualities in a single man so you shall five husbands in the next birth ! ".

The story signifies two things:
First, be careful for what you ask for, and Second: if God cannot help get you the ideal mate, don't expect providence to find you one :)

Let me relate to you from my experience. I had many crushes during college. But the tragedy was that the guys I liked did not like me and I did not like the guys who happened to like me.
There is mismatch in expectations. I may find exactly the same person I am looking for but I may not be the one he is looking for. A lot of effort wasted in looking out.

Love Marriage happened to me when I had given up all hopes of a love match. The guy was my best friend who I thought knew me just too well (with all my flaws) to love me.
I am not a very organized person but I was bent on making my marriage work. To prepare myself for whats coming, I read the book “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus” cover to cover. However, an year after marriage I realized that although Women are from Venus, Men are not from Mars... I don't know what planet they come from.

If I wake up early, he tells me “You are getting older and not getting sleep”. When I sleep longer he calls me lazy.
If I ask him to help me in house work he creates a mess and if I don't I end up doing everything myself. When I watch television "I am wasting time", When he watches it "He is just relaxing."
However, things have really changed with time.
Now, I don’t feel bad when he calls me lazy, pampered or spoiled.

I may not have been able to crack the conundrum called Marriage, but four years into marriage, I realize that one of the tricks is to lower your expectations and understand that your spouse is not a super human being. He or She is as human, as fallible and as error prone as you are,.... and they are trying their best as just as you are.

So, folks think twice before you make the decision to get married… and think a hundred times before you say “Yes!” …. Because…

“Marriages made in heaven, and so are thunder and lightning”.

Dont Get Mad, Get Funny !

Excerpts from my 10th and final speech at Toastmaster’s  (Ah yes , I am a certified Competent Communicator now !)

 

“Don’t Mad, Get Funny !”
But Why ?

Because, the latter is definitely better than the former. People like Funny people; they are fun to be around. It’s easier to trust jolly people, since we are less threatened by them. Laughter makes life easier; and believe it or not it helps you communicate more effectively.
While on the other hand, Getting mad hurts. It hurts you and the others and no good ever comes out of it. You only become your own worst enemy.

So, The Big question is: Why do we get Mad ?

Because, We are overstressed.

And pray what is stress?

Stress is the by product of a stressor. Let me reiterate: It’s a “by-product”.

There is a difference between stressors which are the daily occurrences which have potential to drive us crazy, make us frustrated, angry and hurt and Stress.  It all depends on us how we choose respond to stressors. Stress may or may not be the outcome of a stressor.
You see, when faced with unpleasant situation, your body undergoes a complicated series of events. Adrenal glands get activated and produce adrenaline & noradrenalin, which is a powerful combination. This leads to increase in metabolism, dilation of blood vessels, increase in heart rate. Also, Extra glucose is sent to serve as quick source of energy so that your body can combat the enemy, your stressor.

All this helps if the stressor is a 2 ton baggage falling overhead, in that case your body would help you make quick decision and engage your physical resources to make the quickest possible exit. But what if your stressor is a simply a rush hour traffic. Then you are all hyped up, with you hormones gushing but no place to go. AND Then, comes the Anger. (Anger is not one letter away from Danger!)

The problem comes when you respond to every little annoyance with full blown stress response. This leaves you drained and you have no energy left to face the bigger and more meaningful challenges. The key is to make a distinction between “little stress” and “big stress”.  Each time you face a stressor ask yourselves the below questions:

1. Am I in physical danger?
2. Is anyone I care about in danger?
3. Is there anything I can do right now to change the situation?
4. Will the situation have a long term impact on my life?
5. Will getting mad help?

The answer to last one would always be a NO. Though, on a more serious note, If the answer to most of the above questions is no, the stress is moderate, and needs to be humored and not taken seriously. There is a difference between a physical threat (serious) and threat to your ego (superfluous).

However, to make fun of your misery you need to develop some techniques or use the techniques I profess below:

Distracting:

If there is nothing you can do about something, thinking unnecessarily wont help. Try distracting yourself deliberately in some funny way.
Say, chant a mantra to yourself. I sing “Life Haphazard, Life Haphazard hai yaar…” when I find myself in middle of a disorganized, disarrayed mess (Total chaos) at office. When things don’t go my way (due to providence), I chant “Man proposes, God disposes..”. It helps me cool down a bit. Choose your own mantra; I am sure you would do better than me. If nothing works, take a deep breath and say “Ommmmmmmm…”.
There are other ways of distracting yourself. Try visualizing your boss or a bothersome relative/colleague moving to another country. It would instantly make you feel better.
Now say you are stuck in traffic jam. Try writing a funny poem then instead of getting all hyped up. You could also look out and try to formulate the life story of the person in car beside you. Or you could simply practice ways to ask boss for a raise 
Be imaginative. There can be umpteen numbers of innovative ways to get distracted in a funny way.

 

Exaggerating:

Exaggerating can be a lot of fun. People do it all the time. Only they do it for other’s miseries. I don’t find that funny though. How about exaggerating your own follies?
I believe, it’s not always necessary to have snappy retorts to the stupid things that people say. Then let them be right even when they are wrong. Most people defend themselves when insulted. "I am not stupid." They would say. This however is an uncreative approach which creates stress and makes you seem even more stupid than you really are. Try agreeing with them and exaggerating what they say. This technique illuminates their stupidity, creates humor, and defuses situations.
Say, someone tells me: "You are a complete idiot."
And what if I say: "So I am. AND you are so smart; you figured that out so soon. It usually takes people years to find out just what an idiot I am."
Note that it takes a smart person to joke about how stupid they are.

 

Detaching:

We find happenings (often mis-happenings) in other’s life quite funny. But it’s not funny when crazy things happen to us. Why?
Because we are very attached to our persona and we are biased to ourselves. Try developing a perspective by removing YOU from your problems. Be a distant observer to the proceedings and try not to take things personally.
I will cite you an incident. I was once roaming about with my roomie at Lake drive, Maimi (where I was working on deputation). I was lost in thoughts and fell headlong due to some stumbling block on road. As I tried to get up I saw my rommie and a few others on road laughing heartily. I am sure it must have been a funny scene. But it was not funny to me. I had dirt over my hands and dress and my knees hurt. It was embarrassing. I am sure such things happen to everybody. You see, had I not taken the fall personally and had not be so self conscious, I have found the situation funny as well.
The trick is to poke fun at yourself, in any case everyone else does. The idea is to beat them in that. Take your job (not the only the office job but whatever you are engaged in) seriously, but not yourself.

Some of the funniest stories we tell about ourselves to others are the ones which really beat the crap out us. However, with time, we are able to gain a less biased and less begrudged perspective and see the funny side. All we need to do is to shorten the time duration for between the “incident” and when “it” becomes the “funny story”.

 

Developing the Humor quotient:

Like other aspects of your personality, developing humor quotient needs effort. Work on being funny. Try incorporating fun in life; surround yourself with funny books, quotes, and friends. Use funny aliases for yourselves and others. (My husband calls me “P Charu” when I am troubled (P for Pareshan !) and call me Taaru when I am in foul mood. All that helps bring levity and brightens up my mood).

You could also try working on writing down stressor list and things that make you happy. For example your most probable stressors could be a scratch on your car or a rejected reimbursement claim. Work on your stressors and see how you could ease them. Also make a happiness list. Things that lift up your mood like watching movies, singing inane songs (like I do), spending time with kids or simply watching your beloved spouse carry about daily chores with alacrity.

 

Your happiness list is about your stress busters.  Mix and match your stressors and stress busters and strike chord.

You should make a mental note of your stressors and acknowledge them, only then you would be able to work out ways to get round them.

 

When bad things happen, never use the three words: "It's not fair."

The belief that only good things should happen to good people is an unrealistic expectation that creates a lot of disappointment and aggravation. Lets change our attitude and take the more practical, less disappointing point of view that— "Life is a joke."  It is so indeed. Don't believe me? Look around. Look who got the last promotion . Look at the people running this country.
Life is indeed not fair — it's just a comedy of errors. 

So, whenever there is a stressor, take a moment to make a humor choice .
 

Please note that although I made the above speech, I am not a very  funny person. I only have fun and get funny when I am with children or with other silly and impractical  people like me (Though I am working on enhancing my scope.)  I am a “funny” misfit among the more worldly folks.
I find inspiration in my husband who although may not come across a funny person, carries all sort of childlike antics when I am angry or in a foul mood. Although I have never told him, (but he will eventually get to know via this blog), that I love it when he puts on those innocent looks and feigns ignorance when carry out my tirade against him. He exaggerates the issues I put forth , mocks me and simply refuses to take me seriously until I have cooled down (which I do eventually, AND he does take me seriously when I am calmer.)

Also, I acknowledge that had been heavily influenced by Leigh Anne Jasheway while composing the speech.

 

The Ashtavakra Maha Gita !

What do you do on those days when you feel dejected, demotivated and unsure of yourselves ? 
When it seems that nobody is concerned about you and there is no purpose of life ?

We all have our mechanism of coping with such times. Some talk to loved ones or friends or to the people who have faith in them. That instills confidence in them and makes them feel better.Some listen to their favorite music, watch their favorite movie, read a good book or eat their favorite food. This helps them experience the joy of living and they try to move on.My mechanism has been to read the Ashtavakra Maha Gita. ( Though, I also enjoy books on UG Krishnamurthi).

If you have not heard about Ashtavakra Gita, let me brief you about it.Now ,there are more than one Gita in hindu philosophy. Gita is a song of Knowledge. There is the Bhagwad Gita, which was a discourse on life and philosophy by Krishna to Arjuna.Ashtavakra Gita is the discussion between sage Ashtavakra and King Janak.
The Janaks were the philosopher kings of Mithila. They ruled their people well and carried out their duties without being obsessed with the worldly possessions they were entitled to. They were intellectuals and encouraged debate on philosophy. One of the Janaks (Seerdhawaj, who was also a father to Sita) had a profound discussion with Ashtavakra.

Ashtavakra, the saint with 8 body deformities (that is way the name Ashta-vakra ) went to participate the debate at Janak's court. As soon as he arrived at court, the participants and the king's officers starting laughing at his deformed body. Instead of feeling insulted, Astavakra was amused. He too laughed heartily. On being asked about the reason for his laugh , he said that he thought he had come to attend a gathering of saints, intellectuals and philosophers but it turned out to be a gathering of skin-tanners, for all of those present here judged me by my outer cover , my body and its inadequacies and did not perceive the real me. "I am atma (soul)" he said. I am perfect and unadulterated. 

Janaka recognized that the young sage was special. He made good use of the opportunity by discussing world, life and liberation with him.This discussion was recorded as Astavakra Gita. The discussion is interesting because its between a Gyana-Yogi (Ashtavakra) and Karma-Yogi (Janaka). Both have acquired self-realization but via different means. They acknowledge and respect each other.

I go through Ashtavakra Gita when I feel low. (I thank technology to have it made available to me anywhere, any time). And I realize that there are actually no problems and no solutions either. I am nobody's friend and nobody's foe. I am pure consciousness and pure energy. I am nothing more and nothing less. I am not what the world perceives me. I am perfect the way I am and fall in place with the celestial harmony. I never did any wrong nor can I make anything right. I am not the doer but only a distant observer. An observer of my surroundings, activities and the happenings.

After an altercation with my husband last night, I felt disoriented. Nothing made sense. I have some expectations from my husband and he has some from me. I feel bad when my expectations are not met. Ashtavakra Gita signifies the futility of having expectations. When I am pure consciousness and I am the universal energy personified , then why is my happiness dependent on extrinsic factors ?

I feel bad when someone says bad about me. I feel happy when they say good things about me . How is the happiness which is in me,  dependent on what others feel for me ?
To be happy is my only nature. To be at peace is my only natural state. I cannot stay agitated long enough. I would come back to my natural state of peace and harmony. Just like a pendulum comes back to its natural state after oscillating when an external force pulls it. Just like a compressed spring comes back to its natural state.

Ashtavakra Gita is a wonderful philosophy which brings us closer to our selves however its not for the very ambitious and worldly folks. Since it propogates us to flow like a river without worrying about the course or the outcome and accept whatever comes our way, It actually promotes inactivity. When we think ourselves, the others and the surroundings to be perfect the way they are we would not make any effort to bring in a change for the betterment. For there is no scope of improvement in perfection. Therefore, All progress would stop. There would be no struggle, no successes only peace and stability.

Check out the Ashtavakra Gita for yourselves at the below link (English and Hindi Translations available).
Ashtavakra Gita