The Ashtavakra Maha Gita !

What do you do on those days when you feel dejected, demotivated and unsure of yourselves ? 
When it seems that nobody is concerned about you and there is no purpose of life ?

We all have our mechanism of coping with such times. Some talk to loved ones or friends or to the people who have faith in them. That instills confidence in them and makes them feel better.Some listen to their favorite music, watch their favorite movie, read a good book or eat their favorite food. This helps them experience the joy of living and they try to move on.My mechanism has been to read the Ashtavakra Maha Gita. ( Though, I also enjoy books on UG Krishnamurthi).

If you have not heard about Ashtavakra Gita, let me brief you about it.Now ,there are more than one Gita in hindu philosophy. Gita is a song of Knowledge. There is the Bhagwad Gita, which was a discourse on life and philosophy by Krishna to Arjuna.Ashtavakra Gita is the discussion between sage Ashtavakra and King Janak.
The Janaks were the philosopher kings of Mithila. They ruled their people well and carried out their duties without being obsessed with the worldly possessions they were entitled to. They were intellectuals and encouraged debate on philosophy. One of the Janaks (Seerdhawaj, who was also a father to Sita) had a profound discussion with Ashtavakra.

Ashtavakra, the saint with 8 body deformities (that is way the name Ashta-vakra ) went to participate the debate at Janak's court. As soon as he arrived at court, the participants and the king's officers starting laughing at his deformed body. Instead of feeling insulted, Astavakra was amused. He too laughed heartily. On being asked about the reason for his laugh , he said that he thought he had come to attend a gathering of saints, intellectuals and philosophers but it turned out to be a gathering of skin-tanners, for all of those present here judged me by my outer cover , my body and its inadequacies and did not perceive the real me. "I am atma (soul)" he said. I am perfect and unadulterated. 

Janaka recognized that the young sage was special. He made good use of the opportunity by discussing world, life and liberation with him.This discussion was recorded as Astavakra Gita. The discussion is interesting because its between a Gyana-Yogi (Ashtavakra) and Karma-Yogi (Janaka). Both have acquired self-realization but via different means. They acknowledge and respect each other.

I go through Ashtavakra Gita when I feel low. (I thank technology to have it made available to me anywhere, any time). And I realize that there are actually no problems and no solutions either. I am nobody's friend and nobody's foe. I am pure consciousness and pure energy. I am nothing more and nothing less. I am not what the world perceives me. I am perfect the way I am and fall in place with the celestial harmony. I never did any wrong nor can I make anything right. I am not the doer but only a distant observer. An observer of my surroundings, activities and the happenings.

After an altercation with my husband last night, I felt disoriented. Nothing made sense. I have some expectations from my husband and he has some from me. I feel bad when my expectations are not met. Ashtavakra Gita signifies the futility of having expectations. When I am pure consciousness and I am the universal energy personified , then why is my happiness dependent on extrinsic factors ?

I feel bad when someone says bad about me. I feel happy when they say good things about me . How is the happiness which is in me,  dependent on what others feel for me ?
To be happy is my only nature. To be at peace is my only natural state. I cannot stay agitated long enough. I would come back to my natural state of peace and harmony. Just like a pendulum comes back to its natural state after oscillating when an external force pulls it. Just like a compressed spring comes back to its natural state.

Ashtavakra Gita is a wonderful philosophy which brings us closer to our selves however its not for the very ambitious and worldly folks. Since it propogates us to flow like a river without worrying about the course or the outcome and accept whatever comes our way, It actually promotes inactivity. When we think ourselves, the others and the surroundings to be perfect the way they are we would not make any effort to bring in a change for the betterment. For there is no scope of improvement in perfection. Therefore, All progress would stop. There would be no struggle, no successes only peace and stability.

Check out the Ashtavakra Gita for yourselves at the below link (English and Hindi Translations available).
Ashtavakra Gita

Be Positive !

Excerpts from my recent speech at Toastmaster's about being Positive.

I know am starting with a cliche but let me how many of you see the glass as half full and how many of you think that its half empty?
I have always belonged to the second the group. The ones who see glass half empty. I have been a follower of Nietzsche and Arthur Schopenhauer who believed in nihilism and pessimism.
My philosophy has always been to expect the worst. That ways if worst come up I would not be sad for it expected it. If not, I would be cool. But still, I am not happy. It does not work that way. In my efforts to safeguard myself from sorrow I have lost all happiness.
Therefore I come back to my topic, which is about being positive and taking control of your life. And how do we do that? Let’s see:

1. Stop negative influences:
One thing that I have realized is that:
----We get and attract what we think most about -----
That is, if I think that word is unfair. I will always get to see an unfair world. Unfairness would attract me for that’s what I subconsciously want to see and believe.
If I think about getting a promotion all the time, I am more like to get it. If I worry about not getting a promotion, I am more like not to get it.
Therefore we should weed out the negative thoughts and influences and cultivate positivity. It would work wonders. Just like you replace your daily dose of black tea with green tea, replace you negative thoughts with positive ones.

2. Smile:
Chinese saying: A shopkeeper who does not smile should close down his shop.
Smile, like happiness is contagious. When you smile you share positively. If you get a smile in return, you know you have done something good.
I know there are times when we feel low and do not feel like smiling and talking. But they say Even a forced smile can lift one's mood. 
Think smiling as a reward, not a risk. The only thing we risk when smiling is giving ourselves a little more happiness.

3. Recharge your batteries:
What do you think is the basic ingredient of staying happy and positive? Thinking on higher plane? Finding a purpose in life?
I am afraid its not so. I am a mother and I have seen a behavior pattern in kids. When my kids are well fed, well slept they are happy but they get cranky when they are hungry or sleepy. Strangely enough, it’s the same with us. We may not want to accept it but we overstretch ourselves in a bid to overachieve.
To stay happy and positive, you should have enough rest and should have timely meals. If you skip meals and don’t rest, your body would give you a tough time and you would feel depressed.
So take time out to recharge your batteries, eat well, sleep well and take breaks. Go on a vacation and recharge your batteries.

4. Surround yourself with friends:
There’s a saying: Living with the people you like is sheer joy and living with people you don’t like is a punishment.
So let’s choose joy over punishment.

5. Meditate:
When I say meditate, I donot necessarily mean yoga.
I mean that you should take time out for yourself, find a place quite place and think about nothing. Give rest to your hyperactive brain. Just count your breaths or start counting the stars at night and do nothing, think nothing for 5 to 10 minutes. And see what it does to you.

6. Get Motivated and Inspired.
Staying positive is a choice. Choose to be positive rather than negative. Choose optimism over pessimism. But at times going can be tough, how do you then maintain positivity?
You need motivation to get going. Listen to motivational talks. Keep positive notes in your wallet. Meet people and get inspired.

7. Love yourself
You can only understand others if you understand yourself. You can only love others if you love yourself. Appreciate yourself. Be comfortable with yourself. Do not try to be someone you are not. For that involves lot of effort and unhappiness. 

x

The Vat Savitri Vrata

Majestic and Mystic: Vat Vriksha (Banyan tree) under whose shade the Satyavan rested while Yamraj arrived to claim him.

Last Monday was the BadMavas or Vat Savitri Amavasya.
Another opportunity for Married Indian women to oblige their husbands and show their dedication to them.

Not strangely enough, When I first listened to Savitri's Story, I found her to be another liberated, strong-willed and powerful woman from our ancient society who, I believe would fall in same category as Draupadi and Damayanti. She was far from being the meek and submissive house-wife. She was beautiful, intelligent and headstrong. In trying times, she trusted her instinct and intelligence rather than rely on self-pity.

Throughout her life, Savitri had intellectual conflicts with the men who had the potential to change the course of her life. She challenged them but with grace and respect.

She was the only child of a well known king and she was born after much praying and penance. She grew up to be so beautiful and knowledgeable than the no prince would ask her hand in marriage, considering her to be way above their league and fearing rejection. She sought permission from her father to look out for her groom by herself. An act which was definitely not the usual norm.
During her search, she came across Satyavan, the prince in exile. He was handsome, generous and of strong character. He lived in a modest cottage with his parents. Satyavan's blind father was once a powerful king but had lost his kingdom. Savitri choose Satyavan as her groom and informed her father. The thought of the tough life she would have to live with Satyavan in the forest did not deter her. Further more, Sage Narada informed her father of Satyavan's purported short life and who then requests Savitri to reconsider her decision but she stood determined. 

Satrivi and Satyavan were married with their parents blessings. Despite being a princess, Savitri takes to daily households chores and takes good care of her in laws. Not once does she her regret her decision of choosing a hard life.
She is deeply in love with her husband and her outlook helps create an aura of love and harmony.  

Three days before her interaction with Yamraj, Savitri takes a vow of vigil and fasting. Her penances had made instincts developed enough to foresee the danger to her husband. Savitri sought permission from her father-in-law to follow Satyavan in the deep woods. Her father-in-law was wary of her unprecedented request. It was not safe for lady to be in the forest. However, she was cogent and true to her resolve. Her father-in-law relented after much persuasion. 

Savitri followed her husband into the forest. After a while Satyavan felt weak. He laid down his head in Savitri's lap and rested a little under a Vat tree. Savitri saw a dark shadow approach Satyavan, It was Yamraj, the death God. Savitri does not let Yamraj leave with Satyavan's soul. She follows Yamraj. Yamraj tries to convince Savitri to turn back since her "time" has not come yet. The strong-willed Savitri does not turn back. 

She in turn, praises Yamraj for his sense of duty and judgement, uses verse from Vedas and demonstrates her knowledge of scriptures and her intellect. Yamraj is impressed and asks her to seek boons from him, anything except Satyavan's life. Savitri uses her presence of mind and makes good use of the use of the opportunity by asking Yamraj for brothers for herself (sons for her father, who could carry on her father's legacy). She got the boon but she did not stop there. She was a woman on the verge of losing her beloved but she maintained her calm. She had read scriptures and knew that in such circumstances she could ask for not one but three boons. 

She continued following Yamraj. Yamraj asked her to stop following him and said that she could have another boon. Anything other than her husband's life.
This time around Savitri asks Yamraj to restore her father-in-law's eyesight and his lost kingdom. Yamraj promises her and proceeds on his way. Savitri does not stop. Its the time for the third and final boon. It was Savitri's last chance. To ask for fourth boon would have been inappropriate. She asked Yamraj to grant her a son. And Yamraj in his eagerness to complete his current task and to dissuade the woman from following him granted her the boon with little forethought. Savitri coolly states to Yamraj that he cannot take her husband away because then it would be a violation of his promise. She cannot have a son without her husband. Yamraj was impressed and gave in. He blessed Satyavan with a long life. And they lived happily ever after.

To think, Savitri was far more liberated than the women of our times. Liberation does not mean spending precious time comparing and contrasting the two sexes and frowning about it. But liberation is to believe in oneself and to take the liberty to make your own decisions and stand by it. Satrivi was a very confident women. When no one come up to ask for hand in marriage, she did not get dejected or demoralized but took on to herself to search for a suitable husband. 

She choose Satyavan because she valued virtues over riches. She could have chosen a rich prince and spent her life in comforts but she did not. She did not deter from her decision even after knowing about her husband's supposedly short life span. She stood by her choice. Not once post marriage did she complain about living in penury but counted each day as a blessing. 
Most importantly, she did not lose heart during the trying times. She maintained her calm and relied on her intellect rather than ask for pity. Neither was she self centered, for she got boons not only for herself but for her family. 

I usually am bad with making decisions. I have hard time with them. I either let someone else decide for me (usually my hubby) or I keep postponing the decision making to the point in time when I am left with no options but one. However, the Vat Savitri story inspires me. Its not only about love between husband and wife but about self-belief. 

Writing for Wikihow !

I have always been very impressed with wikihow. Its a site for one and everyone. No matter what you want to know about, may it be getting rid of a stain in your dress, taking an interview, balancing work life or buying a pet. Wikihow has tips for everything. The wikihow concept is about sharing what you know and other wikihowians would edit/add on to, the information shared to make it more effective.

I have personally found wikihow very useful and thought about contributing to it. It was my way of giving back.

Writing for wikihow is however quite different than writing for other online portals. The base article you start is improvised by one and many. Its the article which takes the precedence and not the author/contributors. When you read a wikihow article you hardly take a note of who wrote it no-matter how helpful the article may be. Its more like an anonymous contribution.

I was therefore quite delighted when I received the below email in my inbox.

While writing is always a joy, the knowledge that your writing has helped someone brings greater happiness.

Here few of the wikihow articles I had composed:

http://www.wikihow.com/Find-Happiness-As-a-Writer

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Polite-to-Your-In-Laws

Happy Wikihowing !

A penchant for Mending things.

 I had been bugging my husband lately to get me a new laptop. The one I use is a lenova model which dates back to 2006 and has now lost its erstwhile sheen and glory. Its processing is quite slow and I usually have a hard time navigating from one window to another. Also, it gets heated up every once in a while and turns off by itself. 

However, had a hard time convincing my hubby. I told him that I am a budding author on the way to composing a novella which will never see the light of day if I continue working on the machine. 
"Author died of sheer irritation while working on her machine" , would be the last line of my unfinished master piece. 
I employed the age old tactics of "sam/dam/dand/bheed" (read :sweet talk/buying out/punishment and blackmailing) and  provided my hubby with an ultimatum (blackmailed him !!) that if he doesn't get me a laptop in "good working condition" , I will buy the first piece which fancies me.

This got him to think. He asked me not be foolhardy and reminded me that we have not one but three kids at home and the the sleek asus piece I have set my eyes on would not be stay in "one piece" long enough for me to finish off my work.

He got all geared up, got hold of his beloved tool box and started tinkering with my laptop. He opened all of it, cleaned it inside out and put it together. Next, he backed up the data and formatted the machine. He installed and upgrade the software. His ingenious skills in electronics coupled with googling helped him fix the disfunct cd writer. He also order a new external hard disk to help him manage things the next time around. (I suspect he's going to do the same to his laptop). Anyways, He spent a good part of the weekend in this activity and seemed to have thoroughly enjoyed the process. He was quite happy with the end result and presented me the laptop which was as promised "In good working condition". Here is a picture of his finished piece of work and the tools scattered all over.

　
I was all smiles, It was not about "not buying a new" piece, but about fixing what we have got. My husband and a few other of his ilk have a penchant for mending things. It gives them a great deal of satisfaction.

Each day while getting ready for office, I browse through my wardrobe and remark to myself:  "I have nothing good to wear. I need some new dresses". The fact is, my wardrobe is flooded with dresses. Some of them are quite pretty. But they require minor amends. Some of them need a bit of fitting, just a stitch here or there. Few others have a lace or button missing. How about if I get those fixed rather than buying new ones.

I know, there are times when we feel like letting go and starting afresh. While starting afresh has it own charm , making an attempt to fix what's still there is also a very profound activity. It may be your dysfunctional piece of machinery, your broken jewelry, your clothes, your life or your relationships. 
Lets look back and see what can be mended. Lets see if we can make something right.
　

First tete a tete with the baby

http://avantikaturnsone.splashthat.com/

I simply cant believe its been an year today with You..... YOU, my dear girl , my heart, my soul, my life,...
I never thought someone could change my life upside down,..the way you did.
My principles, priorities , likes and dislikes changed...And All of it was done so beautifully  and poetically and I could never complain. You are a magic to me. I am in a spell and I have no desire to come out of it.

While going through my journal today, I found the below,...my first letter to you while you were still inside me. I don't know if I will turn out to be a decent mother for I have so many shortcomings.
But I promise you again, that I will Try my best.

-----------------

Hello Baby,

This is mama's first letter to you.

It was today morning at 5 am that I and your papa found out about you.

I was first in disbelief., impulsive as always but your papa the more perseverant one, waited on and talked sense to me. Soon the two vertical bars appeared in purple dye and confirmed your existence.

I love you. As much as I love your Papa. I love your Papa more than anything else in this world and am proud to carry his baby. His and mine. I hope you grow up to emulate him.

To feel to have a part of him living inside me completes me.

I am not an ideal lady. I am flawed and imperfect. I am not sure if I am worth you. But I will give you all the love and all the happiness that I would be able to provide in my capacity and perhaps beyond. I am sure your papa would reciprocate the same.

Love,

Mumma,

Accept. Do not Judge

The following are the excerpts from the speech I made at the RBS Toastmasters meet yesterday.
Sharing it with you all:

I am going to talk about Judging. It’s a topic I have been reflecting about a lot lately.
Now Let’s face it. We all do it. We judge.
We are all different in mindset and upbringing. We judge and are being judged. It’s a vicious circle which creates negativity and discomfort.
Someone cuts me off in traffic? I mumble, "What an idiot!" I see someone wearing something odd?  I think, "She needs a makeover!"
We like to label others. We don’t like “undefined” people. We extrapolate based on our interactions and observations.
Judging makes us feel safe and comfortable because we have “defined” a person and because we have that definition, we know how to act accordingly. We move on to the next person and do the same until our entire social circle is defined. It helps give us a sense of control and safety. But judging perpetuates stereotypes, which is not a good phenomenon.
We often tend to project our own values and beliefs on others and if others fall in line with what we believe, we judge them as “good” and the rest as “bad”.
Judging is something which we do without thinking. It has become a habit. When you talk about someone else, most people will gladly join in. There is a bonding that comes with judgment. But consider that this bonding is based on false pretensions and would be short lived.
Despite our best efforts to judge, we all know deep down inside we can’t really judge another person.
And why is that?
Because Who are we to judge?
 Seriously!
And then there is another reason not to judge.
That is: We don’t know the whole story.
It’s foolish to assume we know everything there is to know about a person without knowing their story. Few observations, interactions, actions become the basis for our judgments.
A person I consider stingy, he might be saving for a good cause. I person I consider rude, he might have had a tough life which might have hardened him.
You may see a woman with rumpled and stained clothes coming to office and may remark how clumsy she is. But she may be a working Mom like me who has just come to office after feeding porridge to her child, remains of which are still visible on her dress. She had no time to smother her dress because she was doing a last minute nappy change.
As Henry David Throreau said It's not what you look at that matters. It's what you see.
Its very easy to state someone wrong. But its another thing to step into that persons shoes and see what he or she is going through.
Everyone has a story. And we may not know about it.
So how do we free yourself from this natural urge to judge?
We must consider a few points :
Firstly, Nobody has the ABSOLUTE right to judge.
And second, that everybody as a story.
Instead of judging, just accept. Acceptance is the key.
If we are into judging others, it is very easy to judge ourselves and there’s way too much stress in that. For example, If you judge what other people wear, you would be extremely concerned with you wear. You would do this less if you didn't judge others so harshly.
If we accept and understand others, it’s so much easier to accept and understand yourself.
Once we become more comfortable with who we are, we judge others less.
We become less influenced by the judgment of others because we realize that nobody has the right to judge another and even though people still judge us – they don’t know the whole story so their judgments lie on faulty foundations.
The “social weight” of fearing how others will judge you evaporates. You feel FREE.
You can be yourselves.
Let me tell you about an instance which happened while I was at Miami, I once visited a new friend’s house and everyone in the family was shorter than me. Since I’m the shortest person in my family, I never felt too tall.
When my friend’s mother met me at the door and said with a slightly disappointed tone, “Oh, you are so tall,” it didn’t affect me. I was aware that she had some discomfort with my height, but I didn’t take it personally.It was because I was comfortable with my height.

When we stop judging, Opportunities come knocking down your door.
I have realized that people are one of the greatest gateways to opportunities and when we ACCEPT another person, we open a door instead of closing it by judging. In this process, we get a lot of goodwill indirectly, which can translate into opportunity.

So, set yourselves free. Accept not Judge.